Team Comedy Lounge

Boooooooring. Still partially nocturnal but getting there. Feel free to email us to help prevent any further bouts of boredom.

Everyone has been home for a while now (the festival seems weeks ago) and we are still nocturnal. Last night, we drank some Baileys in a vain attempt to make ourselves drowsy and set about going to bed at 4am. However, we were both tossing and turning hours later and I was still wide awake at 9am. Needless to say today was written off and we're not expecting to sleep tonight either so intend to pack and reminisce. Thank god the Royal Bank of Scotland didn't give me the month off cos I'd have had to be back at work today and that just wouldn't have happened and I now realise that handing in my notice was the best thing I have done for years. As it is I think I'm getting the train at about 4pm tomorrow to get home in time for the last few hours of my mum's birthday and then sleeping for a week, giving up alcohol and eating fruit and vegetables (if I can remember what they look like). We miss everyone already and tonight will set about announcing the winners of the much anticipated Comedy Lounge alternative awards.

More reviews to come over the next few weeks when Sharon is back at work and I am sitting indoors twiddling my thumbs. (Incidentally if anyone knows of any interesting/enjoyable jobs going let me know cos god knows I don't want to go back to working in a bank, no matter how well paid it is).

Will catch up with friends next week while I try to readjust my body clock to diurnal. It'll be weird not seeing Sharon for a month or so as well. Back to normal I spose.

Last night of the Festival – much anticipated, due to the promise of sleep, sobriety, and not having to watch comedy every again. We spent the day running around trying to see all the shows that we didn’t manage to see – there’s about 9 shows we now regret not seeing, but we think we’ve done darned well with our show count coming up to the 80 mark. We’re giving ourselves a pat on the back as we type this up.

In the end, we just went to see shows we’d already seen and loved – so The Hollow Men, Electric Eel and The Award Winning Show all got a look in, and the usual last-show anarchy was prevalent through those shows.

From there, we retired to our spiritual home of the Brookes Bar, where we watched lots of boys stand around a pool table and gamble what was left of their savings on Simon Farnaby winning the tournament, on a book being organised by Dave Armand. Cliff Kelly also became a winner, gaining round about £12 between schmoozing with the whole room and generally being everyone’s best friend. The real winner was Armand, who is rumoured to have gained almost £3 from his illegal gambling ring.

Michelle and Dave’s previously mentioned argument (from the Perrier party – see entry below) reared it’s ugly head once again, when Michelle marched Dave over to us, and made him confess that he was, in fact, deeply wrong about everything he had said at the Perrier, but quite specifically about who was the lead actress in Some Kind of Wonderful. So, for the record, Michelle is best, and wins.

Mat Horne spent the night chasing fairies around the room, after one appeared to Kathryn and scattered her with fairy dust. No, really. We have photos to prove it. Mat decided, after forcing the fairy to smoke Marlboro Lights, that he would try to have her framed for robbery, and planted a Brookes Bar Menu into her bag, and then tipped off the police. Oh, alright, then tipped off us to his terrible antics. The fairy was lovely, and we hope she gets out of prison soon.

Everyone in the bar decided that climbing Arthur’s Seat would be the best way to round off the Festival, but obviously a quick visit through the hallowed doors of the Penny Black was in order first. So, after the bar threw us out for the last time, we tried unsuccessfully to get a cab there, stopping only momentarily to freeze on the streets of Edinburgh with an apple and a sandwich. In the end, we caught the first bus, but by the time we got to the bar, the queue was around the block. Which was a shame, as Sharon never made it to the Penny Black this year, as usual. Next year, we mean business.

God almighty, we’re shells of our former selves. If anyone has suggestions for therapy or rehabilitation, please let us know. In the meantime, we’re off to sleep a month’s worth of missed sleep. N’night now.

Tonight was spent, as per usual, hanging about the Brookes Bar in the Dome like the little comedy groupies that we are rumoured to be. Adam and Cliff from Electric Eel got a little bit too friendly with Brooks the Dog – the owner and co-manager of the bar – but we’re not ones for idle, unsubstantiated gossip, so we’ll just leave that story right there.

We were also graced with the presence of the niCe mUm boys, who have already begun work on their 2003 Festival show, which is “sure to be the smash hit of the Fringe” (get your poster quotes here early, ladies and gentlemen). We can’t say too much about the whole thing, but sponsorship and merchandise may play a major part. And phrases like “flexible” and “bendy” might also feature. That’s all that we’re saying.

Kris and Dave also frightened us with their Simon Farnaby tribute act – we now know who has been stalking poor Simon for the duration of the Festival, and also stealing things from his bin and his dirty washing. The police, once again, have been informed.

We held the Festival’s smallest blogmeet tonight, as Sharon and James Bachman had the normal Festival conversation – ‘How’s the show going? Got many reviews?’ etc.

Finally, Jason Hall of that fine publication, the Edinburgh Evening News has had to issue an apology over his recently published review of Jimmy Carr, which is possibly the funniest thing to have happened all this festival. We’d put a link up to the story, but we can’t find it anywhere. You might just have to imagine what all that was about, then.

Good night.

Sharon flyered Esther Rantzen today. But that's the least of our adventures.

The Perrier party was tonight. We went, eager to drink, but in a bit of trepidation about the award itself: Who would win? Would we care? Who would care? Would the Nestle protest be quite big and scary, as promised by such publications as Ananova and The Guardian?

The answer to all the above questions is: Daniel Kitson and The Consultants; Yes; Some people; No. Kitson won. We were very pleased. The Nestle protest people played nice music that kept us dancing in the long queue outside the venue. In the rain. So that was nice of them.

The party was really great, actually, much unlike previous years. Held in Edinburgh Art College, there were more place to explore, a games room which included giant games of Connect Four and racing cars, and also a great big dance floor on which to strut our funky stuff. Lots of free drink too - hoorah - that we managed to scoff quite a lot of. Sharon forgot to steal a Perrier glass though, although she did make off with a drinks coaster. Susan remembered to steal a glass, and so should be arrested. But more of that later.

We spotted the following: Danny wearing lovely red trousers, that frightened a multitude of people, but one of us thought they were lovely; James Bachman smoking a cigarette; Julian Barratt, who told us about his upcoming TV series with The Boosh (whoopee); Clive Anderson, who pushed past Sharon but then turned around and gave her a winning smile; Jimmy Carr, who hung round for more of the party than Kitson did; All of The Hollow Men, in varying degrees of gayness (although obviously David Armand is the least gay, and the most best); Steve "Osram" Oram who celebrated his 29th birthday by having us shout "HAPPY BIRTHDAY" at him everytime he walked past; Mat Horne, who was momentarily miserable until awarded with the Comedy Lounge Empty Bottle of Beer Award for Best Comedy Show 2002, and also the belated Newcomer Award for last year's show; and Cliff and Adam from Electric Eel, who were shiny.

The Award for Best Argument of the night goes to David and Michelle for 'Who Was The Lead Female in Some Kind of Wonderful'. Apparently.

We accidentally left the party when it was finished, and tried desperately to make our way to the Penny Black, only to be confounded by Scotland's confusing licencing laws, which means that some pubs are closed on a Sunday. What are the chances? Richard Keith Herring refused to come along, due to the fact that Sharon had only given him a four star review. On the way, we lost Cliff Kelly (gay) and David Armand (very gay) to the force of their own homes, but managed to keep a hold of two thirds of double act niCe mUm - the two thirds being Kris and Mark. We were nearly arrested on the way home, due to Susan deciding that lying down on the street would be a good idea. The policemen were lovely, and left us to try to find some drink at 6.30am on our own. Finally, Kris and Mark could stand the pull no longer, and had to woss out.

We then got a cab from a lovely man who was on his way to Leith anyway, and we thank him for saving our lives.

We also found out tonight that Jonathon Glasgow has, for some reason, moved his diary to a new source. We've caught up with his entries. It wasn't really worth the effort, was it? Only one mention of us. What's the point?

We woke at the ungodly hour of very early / late, depending on your point of view: if you're a hard working, normal person, we woke very late. If you're still caught up in the middle of the poncy festival, we woke very early. But still late. Cos we were supposed to be in the Assembly Rooms by 2.30pm, which we made, but only just. Jerry Springer The Opera is even better the second time round. And at this stage, having heard the last half hour muffled through the walls of the Music Hall as we sit outside in the bar for the last week, we can now sing along! Result!

We also saw some other shows, which Sharon will sum up in three words:

Count Arthur Strong
Hot but funny

Priorite A Gauche
Okay, I can't do this in three words. The show was good, if you've never seen them before. It's basically their show from 2000, and bits of last year's show, but with the twist of being performed by half the original cast, joined by an actor who looks like he might have been brought in at the last minute. He does a very good job, but the whole way through, they sounded a little bit like a tribute act. It really misses Ben, basically.

Steve Furst: Celebrity Square
Lynne Worral-Thompson is the funniest thing we have ever seen in our lives. Go and see this show, really you must. Pleasance Dome 2, 10.25pm. Really, you must. Ignore the crapness of the flyers. This show is really great.

The Establishment
... was strange. Really good acts - Danny and Dan's Poetry Place (Club Seals), Josie Long, Nick Revell, Peter Buckley-Hill and some strange compere called Mark Hall/Holt/Something beginning with H. But the audience was made almost entirely of C Venue performers and staff who seemed to have gone there every night of the Festival. It was like being invited to a party by someone you don't really know, and then having them leave about 10 minutes later, leaving you alone in a room full of strangers who all seem to be laughing at a stream of in-jokes that no one is going to explain to you. And everyone seems to be avoiding making eye contact with you. And they're all drama students.

Susan and Kathryn braved it out slightly longer whilst Sharon and Edel went to the bar to become the alcoholics they know they are. They didn't manage to get any toast though. Or cookies. Not to be defeated by everyone else seemingly knowing each other they sat and laughed and cheered PBH on to kick his frog just one more time. We only went cos we couldn't be arsed to go to the Universal Party which has subsequently been described by an Electric Eel as "nowhere near as good as last year". Otherwise we'd have been safely tucked up in bed, warm and sleepy - fighting for the duvet - but happy nonetheless. As it is, we will be ragged and exhausted again tomorrow in time for someone we want to win the Perrier not to win the Perrier. It was all worth it, just to hear the Edinburgh Haiku.


We kept looking at each other all day today going "Three days to go!" in really happy voices. Because we'd like this whole nonsense to be over, please. Who in their right mind would make the decision to go out every night for 27 days in a row, drink every night to the point of lying down on the street, regularly eat noodles at 4am and sit in small, black, hot rooms surrounded by strangers all coughing and spitting around you? Well, we did. And right now, we're wondering why.

Not really, of course. It's been just lovely. Now leave us alone. We need to lie down, for tomorrow comes the Perrier, and the anti-climax of that party.

Now go and get some sleep for christ's sake. Night night.

Sharon's got a headache. Susan has lost her voice.

Last night, Team CL (represented again by Susan and Kathryn) broke all previous records by staying in the Penny Black with, among others, Cliff Kelly and Danny Robins until just past 9 in the morning, when normal people were going to their places of work. Congratulations to them, but if anyone finds Susan's voice lying about anywhere on Princes Street, can they please return it to her, as she's getting a bit tired of people saying "What?" to her all the time.

Tonight was the So You Think You're Funny awards, and the winner was:
Matthew Osbourne
who was in the heat that Sharon got to judge. So she is best, obviously, and has proper judgement, and should henceforth be always obeyed by everyone.

Following on from the awards came the inevitable party, and that was much, much fun. Justin Moorhouse was, as ever, one in a million. Various people took part in the CL dancing competition, but that was in the end won by Kev F, who does some scary things on the dance floor that could possibly be illegal in several American states.

Shows seen today
We were lucky enough to be in the audience for the fabulous Telly by James Holmes that is in the Pleasance Cellar at 7.20pm every day until Monday, and should be viewed by all.

We also attended Pea Green Boat by Stewart Graham Lee (described by an audience member leaving Jerry Springer The Opera as "dreadful" right in Sharon's face) in the Traverse Theatre, and that is brilliant. Only two nights left, ladies and gentlemen. Roll up, etc.

In the countdown of the last days of the Festival, the things Susan is going to miss most are:
1. The little living teddy bear that walks around our flat (i.e. Kesh).
2. Playing the nose game with her.
3. Going to sleep when most people are getting up to go to work in the Royal Bank of Scotland.
4. Everything else.
5. Everyone.

Sharon will miss:
1. Justifying starting to drink in the afternoon as "the only way to stay awake".
2. Eating crisps and sandwiches at 4 in the morning, like it's normal.
3. Starting "work" at no earlier than 4 in the afternoon.
4. Sitting in small, dark rooms, sweating heavily and laughing her arse off.
5. Collecting badges.

The 2002 Perrier nominations were announced just after lunchtime today.
And for the two people in the world that don't already know, the nominees are:

Daniel Kitson
Adam Hills
Omid Djalili
Jimmy Carr
Phil Nichol
Noel Fielding

Six nominees, a first since 1996. Opinion is divided in the Comedy Lounge camp as to who we want to win, but just to dispell the rumours floating around the internet, we have it on good authority (from the man himself) that Daniel Kitson has not pulled himself out of the running for the award.

As for Best Newcomer, which will be announced on Saturday night, the betting man's money is apparently on Men In Coats, since two Perrier judges went on record last week saying that it was their favourite show on the Fringe. We would still like to see a win for Howard Read in this category, but also in the running for it this year are John Oliver and Francesca Martinez, so the result could still be a surprise on the night.

I would just like to disassociate myself with the entries below - I was tucked up safely in bed at the unholy time of 2am, leaving Susan and newly arrived Kathryn to fly the flag for the Lounge.

Hi Mum.

Incidentally. Where the hell was Johnny C and the delecatble K man? Answers on a postcard.

Its 7.46 and team cl got in 15 mins ago being greeted by a belwiledered Edel who we thoughy was seleepywalking and we nearly ran awat from. Tonight we learnt a new drinking game coutesy of Steve Orman and Simon Farbany called "In the woods" apparently this is a game that only performers understand but we endeavoured to infiltrate. We also spoke to Comedy Lounhge favvourite Dave Gorman who told us that the second series is to be aired on 1st sept - so set your videos now. Also he mentioned that the patron saint of team cl was in crete but is back on 28th and was planning to come to edinburgh for a few days until the aforemantioned Dave Forman pointed out that the festival was over then. Also, we have noticed that we don't mention the gorgoues Justin Moorhouse enough on this blog. He rocks our world. What else? oh yes, the reson that we are up at this time is that after 4 years we finally made uf through the magical doors and up ontop the bar of the penny black. Where we went with lovely Martin and Jem. tHEy rocjk too. Sprry for poor spelling - it is way wasy way past our bedftime. Willadd more tomorrow as and when flashbacks occur. x

Johnny Candon is gay.

Today at the Assembly Rooms, Susan met an old friend from school, and later on met him on the stairwell of Teviot House at 4 in the morning. They exchanged pleasantries throughout the day.

We saw Susan And Janice: Out Of Our Heads which was brilliant, and should be seen by everyone. We also saw John Oliver's show, which is also very good. If you see John Oliver on the street, you should give him a big hug, and tell him how great his show is. He'll enjoy that a lot.

We also saw the BBC Stand Up Show, which starred Justin Moorhouse, Johnny Candon, Howard Read and Rob Heeney. Daniel Kitson did a great impression, as headline act, of a man having a slow nervous breakdown. He also had a fight with a member of the front row, who hurt poor child star Kitson's arm. We will keep you up to date with bruising news as and when the bruises appear. Probably.

Hot Dog Update
No hot dogs were murdered today.

Good night.

Hello everybody!

Like everyone else keeping an Edinburgh weblog (see the links on the left hand side for more details), we've decided it's far too keen to be updating this every night. So we haven't been. Look! We follow trends!

The last couple of days, like the couple of days before them, have been quite quiet. There's only so much comedy you can watch, and we feel at the moment like we've watched that much, and then a few more shows on top, and we're getting mighty tired now. But tomorrow morning we're getting up, making a long list of shows we still want to see (we think it's about 42) and then we're buying all the tickets we need for the next week, in order to ensure we're well into our overdrafts by the time the Festival ends.

We've also taken some more advice from comedians, this time from our new best friend Lee Evans who advised us after the Stonewall Benefit gig on Friday night to "get back out there and drink". We tried, really we did, but it didn't quite work out. Instead, we contributed to the Electric Eel drinking fund, and we feel that's enough for the moment.

It's come to that stage of the Festival where we're going back to see shows we've already visited before, because we no longer like surprises of any kind. One show that really does stand up to watching more than once is The Museum of Everything from Club Seals. This show, frankly, rocks. Go see.

Tonight, we went to see what some people (mainly the promoters) were calling the Event of the Festival, 60 Acts in 60 Minutes at the C Venue, which delivered exactly what was promised. A terrifying array of strangely stupid acts followed, with some people appearing as a short advert for their own Fringe show, but with the majority running on and off stage just for the sheer hell of it. It was brilliant, but a bit scary sitting, as we were, very close to the front. We liked that lots and lots.

The next week, then, will be our last - both here at the Festival, and probably here on Earth, as we are both suffering seriously from lack of sleep, money, employment and the energy to continue to exist. If anyone would like to come up to us at any point in the next week and give us a supportive hug, please do.

Much like our good friend Jonathon Glasgow (who we hadn't seen for a couple of days, and appeared in the Courtyard today with some terrible bruises - apparently he "walked into a door") we have been far too tired to update our weblog of late. This is because (1) we can't be bothered, and (2) we have nothing to report.

In the last couple of days, we've had some very quiet nights, and relatively quiet days. We've been celebrity spotting, but have only managed to see Jimmy Tarbuck and Jaimie Squeakston. And the man who played The Emperor in Star Wars: The Phantom Menace. And Paul Putner from the Weetabix ads. And Dan Clark from that biscuit ad with the wedding dress.

Sharon is coming down with the flu, and Susan is losing the will to party.

Heading in to town today, we saw the niCe mUm boys being taken away in a police car. Apparently they were arrested for attempting to steal Kinder Eggs from some small children in Princes Street Gardens. Their spokesperson later told us "That's not true, is it? You're just making all of this stuff up."

We got up at 3pm, feeling very ill, and slightly sorry for ourselves. It's so difficult, getting up in the middle of the day, wandering about the house in our pyjamas, eventually getting dressed, wandering up to venues and sitting in the dark for up to three hours a day, laughing our heads off, and then drinking free beer until the early hours. You really should be feeling sorry for us.

Today we finally caught up with the Randy Panda boys (We didn't want to be bad kids, TV made us do it - Ego & Out - weekdays at 7pm) and interviewed them each individually in the style of Good Cop, Other Cop for the Edinburgh Or Burst feature. Tomorrow, it's lunch with Andre Vincent and dinner with Electric Eel. We're nothing if not nutritionally fastidious.

Hot Dog Update
We didn't even get near the Pleasance Courtyard, so hot dogs were thankfully avoided.

We're now sitting at home watching our Trev & Simon videos. I think we might be allergic to alcohol. That would explain all the black outs.

Just a quick entry: BBC Party was much fun. Lots of free drink, which we managed to get almost half of all to ourselves, thanks to our tag-team approach to going to the bar. A handy tip from Mat Horne five minutes before the free bar finished meant that Sharon and Cliff Kelly could make a quick dash to the bar to stock up before cold turkey set in. That means, of course, that we're all a bit worse for wear now. But look! We can still type!

Kicked out at 3am when the party ended, we decided to go to Teviot, where Reginald D Hunter imparted the very profound advice "if your body tells you to lie down, it's time to lie down". We're off to lie down now.

On the way home, we happened upon the niCe mUm boys Kris and Dave, who appeared to be kicking a tramp to death on Princes Street. The police have been informed.

We climbed Arthur's Seat today. Susan, Sharon, Edel and Kesh the dog all managed to drag our weary bones up the feckin' steep volcano, and were rewarded by lovely sunshine at the top, and views all around the city to die for. And then Kesh kept trying to hurl herself over the edge of the cliff in search of rabbits, which was entertaining for Sharon and Edel, but kept giving Susan panic attacks as she is frightened of heights and therefore brilliant.

We are now trying on outfits for the BBC New Comedy Awards Party which we have invites to, and you don't. More news later on, then.

Good morning all.

Hot Dog News Flash!
Susan had a hot dog, despite the fact that she wasn't at all hungry - she did it purely for you, the dear readers. She reckoned the hot dog update might be becoming boring.

Wotsit Waffler Update
Sharon has become mildly jealous, what with all the attention being misdirected towards meat-based products, and so will chart the number of bags of Wotsit Wafflers eaten in any given day. Today - none. She decided upon Green McCoy crisps instead. We'll keep you posted for future developments.

Edel decided to stay put tonight in an attempt to get some kind of normal life back. She would like the world to know that her efforts didn't work, and is now rolling a fag at half three in the morning. "Did you know that 90% of your body is made out of bacteria?", she screamed at us as we walked in through the front door not 20 minutes ago, "and that you're only in fact 10% human?" Edel is currently available for employment.

Snogging Double Acts Update
Double Acts currently snogging each other tonight include the newly formed "Meeten Mat" (formally known as The Two Bitches); Trev and Simon have included a statement in their live show that clearly indicates that they are not, despite popular belief to the contrary, a gaying couple; a certain member of a popular male double act is currently vying to form a new double act, with the couple in question being him and a certain single female performer. We shall keep you posted on the lack of development throughout the run of the Fringe.

Tomorrow (or later on today, date fans), we fully intend to stride like the manly ladies that we are all the way up Arthur's Seat before the sun sets and our determination wavers. Susan is fully intent on the trip. Sharon isn't quite as confident that it will happen, and if it does, she doesn't intend to be there.

Hello.

An early night for us all tonight - we got in at 3am, having left two thirds of Electric Eel (numbers 1 and 3 for those of you keeping track) in the bar, along with Chortle Man, who is currently rampant, having suddenly developed a taste for the booze. Where will this all end? We just don't know.

The extended Family members of Comedy Lounge partook in an interview with the lovely Mackenzie Crook, during a break in his busy schedule judging all the new comedians appearing in finals up and down the Fringe Festival this year. That will appear as soon as we translate the short hand notes taken by Edel, who is very skilled with a pen and note book.

Tomorrow morning, we will have to bid a very fond farewell to the lovely Claire, who leaves for New York on Sunday, the flash jet setter. The best show she saw during her short stay was Howard Read ("because he made me feel warm all over"), closely followed by The Art of Schmoozing ("because it was a very natural performance").

Hot Dog Update
Four days, and no hot dogs have been consumed. If somebody would like to sponsor this feature, please approach Susan in the courtyard with £2.50 in their outstretched hands and say the phrase "You love it, you whore." Thanks.

We are at home, happily drunk and with balloons thanks to the only comedy awards that leave you bald, having managed to use two guest passes to get five people in to the party. We are very clever.

Hot dog Update
No hot dogs were consumed today.

Snogging Update
Adam G Goodwin, of Electric Eel fame, was spotted snogging Steve "Osram" Oram at the disco in the Pleasance Dome this evening. There is no confirmation as yet that the two will be married on the morrow.

Wilkinson Sword Comedy Competiton
Winner of the comedy competition inexplicably sponsored by a razer blade was won this evening by Dylan.

Best show seen today
Howard Read Words and Pictures. We all fell in love with Little Howard.

I feel sick.

Oops. Missed a day. So much has happened. We'll have to do it all in headings to keep up.

Hot dog Update
Susan Elizabeth Turnbull hasn't had a hot dog in two days. Although today's abstinence was accidental, as we sat in the pub too long, and the stand was closed by the time we left.
Sharon Anne Cribbin realised three days ago that she hasn't eaten a hot dog in over ten years.

Celebrity Spotting
We've seen two people off of Hollyoaks walking about the Pleasance Courtyard; Jason Steve "Is your name Dave Manager or are you Dave the Manager" Freeman walking up a hill; Noel Fielding and Spencer Brown walking around in beautiful lady makeup after accidentally dancing with The Ladyboys of Bangcock; niCe mUm boys Kris and Dave sitting in the corner of the Pleasance Cabaret Bar, sharing a tender moment, holding hands and kissing tenderly; Scotsman journalist Jonathon Glasgow running out crying mere moments later.

New Comedy Lounge hobbies
We have taken up chasing bees.
We have started eating Curly Fries in the Pleasance Dome.
We've taken up killing cats.
We've started making up senseless rumours.

Perrier Rumours
Newest rumour going round is that Jimmy Carr will win Best Newcomer and Noel Fielding is up for the Big Award.

For those of you still paying attention to the main site, the Edinburgh Or Burst section will be updated tomorrow, as will the reviews section. Honest.

Very good day today, show, sleep and booze-wise.

Jerry Springer The Opera is just fantastic. We were blown away by it, and can't say enough good things about it to everyone we meet. We've also got a hand full of "Chick With A Dick" badges we'd like to swap for some "Slut Junkie" badges. If you'd like to arrange this, drop us a line or come find us at The Pleasance.

We also met up for a leasurely chat with Oram and Meeten at 1am that got completely out of hand, what with their crazy racism and mad northern tendencies. Obviously, that's a lie. The results should be up on the site tomorrow (if you keep your fingers crossed and pray all day to your patron saint).

Finally, we crashed the Pleasance Party in search of gossip, scandal, rumour, or sight of a future husband for one or both of us. Unfortunately, the event was entirely lacking in any of the above, although we did have lots of fun watching people dance. It's an early night for us tonight - 5am. How civilised.

We woke and arose early this morning - at an ungodly 10am - to the bright, bright sunlight of the daytime, and decided not to waste a moment of the day, and so proceeded to wander about the flat wearing pyjamas and sunglasses complaining about the fact that we were concious, and yet Neighbours wasn't on the telly.

We determined to put our time to good use, and popped round Daniel Kitson's flat for a leisurely lunch of freshly squeezed fruit juice and chocolate bars - our special thanks goes to Daniel and John Oliver for their kind hospitality. There, Daniel entertained us by reading out sections of his review from the Independent concentrating particularly on the part that read "preternaturally gifted", which seems to be his new favourite phrase.

We also caught up with Uncle Vinnie to update our Edinburgh Or Burst section (which will be hitting the site in a matter of days) and proceeded in a Westerly direction to go and watch what is possibly the most tedious show on the Fringe this year. Jimeoin, you have a lot to answer for, my boy...

Pausing only briefly to judge one of the heats of the So You Think You're Funny awards, we then began to drink. As usual. Late N Live just isn't the same without the heckling, is it?

We rounded the night off with a leasurely drink or six at the Gilded Balloon, with a quick race against time and Colin Murphy to find the last cigarrette machine still containing cigarrettes in the building. We beat him by mere moments, and were awarded with a pack of Lambert and Butler for our troubles. Our mothers, as ever, are very proud.

Comedy Lounge Family member number 4 has been welcomed to the Comedy Lounge Edinburgh Head Quarters - Maire has joined the party for the next few days.

And finally, a public service announcement on behalf of Justin Moorhouse:

Justin would like it to be known that he is "Hot, Hungry, and Looking For Love".

G'night.

Bit of a quiet day today. Susan woke early to go and schmooze with her new best friends, the Perrier Panel, and Sharon had a lovely lie in that left her fresh and young looking once more, although that didn't last too long. We finally caught up with the Nice Mum boys (who were kind enough to feature a quote from us on their posters) and they introduced us to their Festival Flatmate Jonathon Glasgow. Which was 'nice'.

We also pointed out to Oram and Meeten that, since they hadn't featured us on their posters, Nice Mum were currently in the lead as our favourite double act at the Fringe. Tom, with tears in his eyes, promised to go about Edinburgh for the next few days disfiguring his own posters by drawing the names "Sharon" and "Susan" across his and Steve's faces with thick black markers. We will wait to see the results of his endeavours.

We are now both sober, and it's 2.30 in the morning. Something has gone horribly wrong.

Too tired to post. Need sleep. News tomorrow.

Today, in training for the rest of the run of the Festival, we managed to see a leisurely 4 shows, all of them starting after 6pm. One was brilliant, one was mediocre, and two were very very bad.

And now it's half past five in the morning. We're a good seven hours past our bedtime. Celebrity spotting-wise, we've seen a bloke from Hollyoaks, someone who we are reliably informed was in Holby City, and three stars from a Channel 4 sitcom sitting unashamedly surrounded by girls. We were treated to a physical interpretation of the song of Baker Street, performed to the tune of Respect by Erasure which was being covered at the time by Wheatus.

William Burdett-Coutts, artistic director of the Scotsman Assembly, says that the Fringe Festival goes on for too long. Comedy Lounge, the 5.30am girls, say that it's time for bed.

Tonight, we have been mostly drinking free alcohol, courtesy of The Stand Comedy Club and The List. Thank you to both of these organisations for their kind donations. We are very grateful.

Although we intended to go to The List party as soon as possible - following the success of drinking The Stand dry in less than an hour - we found The Stand most agreeable, and didn't make it to The List until after the witching hour, way past any of your sensible bedtimes.

Shortly after, we met one third of Electric Eel, who was dressed once more in disguise as a Second Hand Car Salesman - Frank Butcher to his friends - who escorted us away from Leith and towards the performer's bar at The Pleasance. There we ended the night, merrily drinking, and it is from there that we have arrived back home, both drunken and disorderly. We apologise once more for the postings of today and yesterday, but are impressed our spelling has stayed relatively consistent. God Bless you all.

Please keep your fingers crossed that our hangovers aren't too extreme.

“The theme of this morning’s show,” a far too enthusiastic Adam Hills yelled at the gathered, yawning crowd, “is ‘It’s Far Too Early For This Shit!’”

That’s right, dear reader. We were awake, and up, and about early enough today for it still to be referred to as “morning”. The Pleasance Press Launch started at the ungodly hour of 11am – that’s at least five hours before our usual festival rising time. However, it was definitely worth dragging our protesting hangovers out of bed, as we were treated to extracts from Jason Wood’s show, along with Men In Coats, and the brilliant Bombitty of Errors.

Last night, we also treated ourselves to Richard Herring’s cock. No, that’s not what we mean – that’s how rumours get started. For the first show of Fringe 2002, we decided upon Talking Cock, and it is already shaping up to be a brilliant show, with Mr Herring promising that the show will be changing throughout the run of the Festival.

Following this assault to our formally Victorian Moral Values (© Mark Little 2001), we felt we needed to hit the drink, and were assisted by the appearance of Electric Eel, who plied us both with drink and with viscous rumours, which we will of course be sharing with you once we’ve managed to check with our libel lawyers. That is also why this entry might read a little stilted - we're still suffering from the after effects. Just imagine what we'll be like tomorrow, after attending The Stand press launch tonight and then immediately progressing to The List party...

Just one word of advice to anyone who is considering coming up to the Fringe – get here now! You’re missing out on all the fun already! (Yes, Candon, that means you).