Tuesday, July 29, 2003
Late breaking news: Susan Turnbull has arrived in Edinburgh. May the Festival begin.
Susan had quite the journey up here, which she'll probably get around to telling all of you good, good people just as soon as she stops taking things in and out of small vans and carrying boxes up and down stairs, which is her new favourite thing to do.
But she did let me know that, on her way up here, she took part in her favourite thing to do at night - badger killing.
That's right, Susan killed a badger. With her bare van.
Not really, of course. What she did was needlessly drive over a helpless, squished, dead, former badger in her bare van. But she didn't kill any bunnies. I have that on good authority.
Susan had quite the journey up here, which she'll probably get around to telling all of you good, good people just as soon as she stops taking things in and out of small vans and carrying boxes up and down stairs, which is her new favourite thing to do.
But she did let me know that, on her way up here, she took part in her favourite thing to do at night - badger killing.
That's right, Susan killed a badger. With her bare van.
Not really, of course. What she did was needlessly drive over a helpless, squished, dead, former badger in her bare van. But she didn't kill any bunnies. I have that on good authority.
Sunday, July 20, 2003
St Danny Wallace, who as you will all be aware is Patron Saint of Comedy Lounge, has started a collective in which he invites you - yes, that's YOU - to Join Him. Sharon has already joined. Sharon will be talking Susan in to joining quite soon. You should join too. Go to Join Me and Join.
Just Join. Do. Join.
Just Join. Do. Join.
Friday, July 18, 2003
Thursday, July 17, 2003
I gather the temp they are getting in to cover my 6 weeks non-paid holiday is called Raymond (he sounds old) and is starting on Wednesday. I am going to have to show him what I do. I *hate* showing people what I do. I am also worried he'll be better than me and will use the internet considerably less. He will probably also quiz me about my "travelling" plans which will test my lying ability.
Sharon has suggested a conversation that might take place between myself and Raymond...
"Well, Raymond, round about this time of day, I email Sharon again..."
"Again? You've already emailed her 16 times in 3 minutes!"
"Yes, Raymond, keep up."
So I won't be able to email much from Wednesday with some gimp looking over my shoulder. Hopefully Adrian will realise how unarsed I am and take it upon himself to train Raymond. I am also hoping Raymond is a girl. I think I am going to be disappointed.
Sharon has suggested a conversation that might take place between myself and Raymond...
"Well, Raymond, round about this time of day, I email Sharon again..."
"Again? You've already emailed her 16 times in 3 minutes!"
"Yes, Raymond, keep up."
So I won't be able to email much from Wednesday with some gimp looking over my shoulder. Hopefully Adrian will realise how unarsed I am and take it upon himself to train Raymond. I am also hoping Raymond is a girl. I think I am going to be disappointed.
It's catch up time (Adrian is in a meeting ha ha ha)
Wednesday 9th July- I've not heard much about Amazing Titters but I can confirm that it is one of the best comedy clubs in London with some of the best acts you could hope to see, and at stupidly cheap prices. It is an absolute disgrace that not more people are aware of this fact. It has a prime location in the middle of ChinaTown in a lovely room above De Hems pub on Macclesfield Street and is smoothly run by the very lovely Diane and Jackie. I went to see John Oliver and Andy Zaltzman run through their Edinburgh shows which I may or may not get a chance to see during the festival. John was first up and was really very excellent. He has quickly evolved into a totally engaging and brilliant writer and performer. There were no more than ten of us in the audience but the show was fantastic, even though its not quite as polished as it is bound to be in Edinburgh but it is still relatively early days. I predict now that it will be one of my top 5 favourite shows. Sadly half the audience left after John's show so Andy decided to pull his which was a shame cos I really want to see his show and I don't think I'll get a chance to see it in Edinburgh.
Saturday 5th July gave confirmation if ever it was needed that I am not a festivally type person. I think I like my creature comforts too much and it's not like we were in the middle of nowhere, we were in themiddle of Guildford, Surrey. Myself and the lovely Helena met in this nondescript English town at 2pm and wandered on up to the site in time to pick up our free weekend passes and wander about like we owned the place. There were a few stages showcasing various newer acts, none of which I had heard of (unsurprising given that Guilfest is sponsored by Radio 2) but the main stage played hosts to acts such as The Undertones, The Stranglers, Madness, Alice Cooper (the previous night) and Aqualung - who were our reason for being there. We had a mosey about the very small comedy tent and said hello to Jack Russell (who made us each wear a bindi to get into the spirit of things) and Joss from Cosmic Comedy (who brilliantly manages the superb Howard Read and Little Howard)and dumped our jackets back stage.
We wandered about the hippy stalls, between us buying sweat-bands, incense sticks, jewellry, luminous hair mascara and temporary tattoos and a load of other junk and paid a visit to the nachos stall which deliciously was serving melted cheese sauce as a garnish - and it was the type of cheese that MacDonalds put in their burgers...mmm. As if that wasn't enough excitement we wandered down to the main stage which was actually rather big and incredibly managed to get into the second row for Aqualung. They played for an hour but it was nowhere near long enough. They really are fantastic and if you haven't heard their stuff then you a spaz. We had joyfully managed to position ourselves next to the biggest bunch of teenage wankers ever to walk the earth who kept proposing marriage and some clearly mentally deranged man who insisted on talking the whole way through the songs very loudly and then shouting out how brilliant they were as well as trying to spark up a conversation with Matt Hales who was blatantly busy singing a song. Myself and Helena are far too mature and restrained to indulge in such behaviour. And he is married anyway so it'd be a waste of time...
We had a brief listen to Skin and then wandered about and listened to Mitch Benn being funny in the comedy tent. Another quick wander and we decided to call it a day. We had slummed it long enough and went to catch the train home to our clean, lovely warm homes complete with shower and flushable toilet, none of which have queues. We left all the hippies to their tents.
Sunday 29th June saw the somewhat tardy arrival of the 2003 Edinburgh Festival edition of Comedy Lounge. And very bloody good it is too. My computer managed to limit itself to crashing only three times over the weekend which was both considerate and unexpected and my FTP programme didn't play up too much either so I managed to get through my first Comedy Lounge launch weekend without any breakages or tantrums.
On Friday 27th June myself, Michelle and Zena left our dignity at home and went to the Big Brother eviction night to boo Tania out of the house and get some free publicity. After an absolute night mare with trains and buses - we met at London Bridge and planned to get the Thameslink to Elstree & Borehamwood only to discover firstly that Thameslink trains were to start at Moorgate and secondly that the Northern Line had been temporarily suspended so we had to get a bus to Moorgate. And if all this wasn't enough, once we go to Moorgate there was a fire engine parked outside and the gates and barriers shut. After spontaneously bursting into song and keeping the public entertained with the songs of Spandau Ballet we were finally rewarded with the news that the trains were now running. After a non-eventful journey we made our way to the Big Brother house and in the queue proceeded to cover ourself in blusher as a tribute to Tania and made a banner using a dirty great piece of brown cardboard and Michelle's favourite lipstick. We scrawled the words "Spare Our Blusher Tania" on one side and when we got into the enclosure turned it over and used my eye-liner to grafitti the other side of the banner with "Its Alright For Some - Comedy Lounge" thereby advertising our respective business ventures. The entire eviction was somewhat disappointing except for a brief appearance by Jon Tickle, the King of Cool who begged everyone not to boo Tania and not to do it for her, but for him. He really is The Don.
At the end of the show Davina did her goodbye to camera and for a good few seconds our lovingly crafted banner had its 15 minutes of fame while we watched the screen on the wall and tried not to crease up with laughter. Moments after we were off air and Zena's boyfriend rang up and rather than saying "Hello" just uttered the words "Its Alright For Some Comedy Lounge" which was all we needed to hear to know we had had a successful night. That almost certainly puts me in the lead in the Advertising Comedy Lounge competition. An interesting night that none of us intend to repeat. Big Brother fans are seriously scary.
On Thursday 26 July myself and my special friend went to see Jerry Springer the Opera at the National Theatre on the South Bank. That's right look impressed. The production had changed a great deal from that at the Assembly Rooms in Edinburgh last year but was even more incredible. The set was different, the cast was different - although it was good to see that a few of the original cast had remained (in my opinion they would be irreplaceable) - and most of the second half was different. Michael Brandon of Dempsey And Makepiece fame (and I'll be the first to admit I had a crush on him when I was young) was spot on with his protrayal of Jerry Springer and by the end of the Opera I was ready to rise to my feet in appreciation.... You must all go and see it, hang the expense, it'd be worth the £40 ticket price alone to see the encore, it was stunning. The best piece of theatre I have ever seen.
Wednesday 9th July- I've not heard much about Amazing Titters but I can confirm that it is one of the best comedy clubs in London with some of the best acts you could hope to see, and at stupidly cheap prices. It is an absolute disgrace that not more people are aware of this fact. It has a prime location in the middle of ChinaTown in a lovely room above De Hems pub on Macclesfield Street and is smoothly run by the very lovely Diane and Jackie. I went to see John Oliver and Andy Zaltzman run through their Edinburgh shows which I may or may not get a chance to see during the festival. John was first up and was really very excellent. He has quickly evolved into a totally engaging and brilliant writer and performer. There were no more than ten of us in the audience but the show was fantastic, even though its not quite as polished as it is bound to be in Edinburgh but it is still relatively early days. I predict now that it will be one of my top 5 favourite shows. Sadly half the audience left after John's show so Andy decided to pull his which was a shame cos I really want to see his show and I don't think I'll get a chance to see it in Edinburgh.
Saturday 5th July gave confirmation if ever it was needed that I am not a festivally type person. I think I like my creature comforts too much and it's not like we were in the middle of nowhere, we were in themiddle of Guildford, Surrey. Myself and the lovely Helena met in this nondescript English town at 2pm and wandered on up to the site in time to pick up our free weekend passes and wander about like we owned the place. There were a few stages showcasing various newer acts, none of which I had heard of (unsurprising given that Guilfest is sponsored by Radio 2) but the main stage played hosts to acts such as The Undertones, The Stranglers, Madness, Alice Cooper (the previous night) and Aqualung - who were our reason for being there. We had a mosey about the very small comedy tent and said hello to Jack Russell (who made us each wear a bindi to get into the spirit of things) and Joss from Cosmic Comedy (who brilliantly manages the superb Howard Read and Little Howard)and dumped our jackets back stage.
We wandered about the hippy stalls, between us buying sweat-bands, incense sticks, jewellry, luminous hair mascara and temporary tattoos and a load of other junk and paid a visit to the nachos stall which deliciously was serving melted cheese sauce as a garnish - and it was the type of cheese that MacDonalds put in their burgers...mmm. As if that wasn't enough excitement we wandered down to the main stage which was actually rather big and incredibly managed to get into the second row for Aqualung. They played for an hour but it was nowhere near long enough. They really are fantastic and if you haven't heard their stuff then you a spaz. We had joyfully managed to position ourselves next to the biggest bunch of teenage wankers ever to walk the earth who kept proposing marriage and some clearly mentally deranged man who insisted on talking the whole way through the songs very loudly and then shouting out how brilliant they were as well as trying to spark up a conversation with Matt Hales who was blatantly busy singing a song. Myself and Helena are far too mature and restrained to indulge in such behaviour. And he is married anyway so it'd be a waste of time...
We had a brief listen to Skin and then wandered about and listened to Mitch Benn being funny in the comedy tent. Another quick wander and we decided to call it a day. We had slummed it long enough and went to catch the train home to our clean, lovely warm homes complete with shower and flushable toilet, none of which have queues. We left all the hippies to their tents.
Sunday 29th June saw the somewhat tardy arrival of the 2003 Edinburgh Festival edition of Comedy Lounge. And very bloody good it is too. My computer managed to limit itself to crashing only three times over the weekend which was both considerate and unexpected and my FTP programme didn't play up too much either so I managed to get through my first Comedy Lounge launch weekend without any breakages or tantrums.
On Friday 27th June myself, Michelle and Zena left our dignity at home and went to the Big Brother eviction night to boo Tania out of the house and get some free publicity. After an absolute night mare with trains and buses - we met at London Bridge and planned to get the Thameslink to Elstree & Borehamwood only to discover firstly that Thameslink trains were to start at Moorgate and secondly that the Northern Line had been temporarily suspended so we had to get a bus to Moorgate. And if all this wasn't enough, once we go to Moorgate there was a fire engine parked outside and the gates and barriers shut. After spontaneously bursting into song and keeping the public entertained with the songs of Spandau Ballet we were finally rewarded with the news that the trains were now running. After a non-eventful journey we made our way to the Big Brother house and in the queue proceeded to cover ourself in blusher as a tribute to Tania and made a banner using a dirty great piece of brown cardboard and Michelle's favourite lipstick. We scrawled the words "Spare Our Blusher Tania" on one side and when we got into the enclosure turned it over and used my eye-liner to grafitti the other side of the banner with "Its Alright For Some - Comedy Lounge" thereby advertising our respective business ventures. The entire eviction was somewhat disappointing except for a brief appearance by Jon Tickle, the King of Cool who begged everyone not to boo Tania and not to do it for her, but for him. He really is The Don.
At the end of the show Davina did her goodbye to camera and for a good few seconds our lovingly crafted banner had its 15 minutes of fame while we watched the screen on the wall and tried not to crease up with laughter. Moments after we were off air and Zena's boyfriend rang up and rather than saying "Hello" just uttered the words "Its Alright For Some Comedy Lounge" which was all we needed to hear to know we had had a successful night. That almost certainly puts me in the lead in the Advertising Comedy Lounge competition. An interesting night that none of us intend to repeat. Big Brother fans are seriously scary.
On Thursday 26 July myself and my special friend went to see Jerry Springer the Opera at the National Theatre on the South Bank. That's right look impressed. The production had changed a great deal from that at the Assembly Rooms in Edinburgh last year but was even more incredible. The set was different, the cast was different - although it was good to see that a few of the original cast had remained (in my opinion they would be irreplaceable) - and most of the second half was different. Michael Brandon of Dempsey And Makepiece fame (and I'll be the first to admit I had a crush on him when I was young) was spot on with his protrayal of Jerry Springer and by the end of the Opera I was ready to rise to my feet in appreciation.... You must all go and see it, hang the expense, it'd be worth the £40 ticket price alone to see the encore, it was stunning. The best piece of theatre I have ever seen.
I have finally solved the riddle of the two bizarre looking inflatable culptures that I can see outside the Tate Modern from the train every morning as it is pulling into Cannon Street. They are designed by Paul McCarthy and are the largest ever inflatable sculptures.
The black scuplture is called "Blockhead" and the pink one is called "Daddies Bighead".
From the view I have from across the Thames and a few hundred metres away the black one looks like some kind of old fashioned camera and the pink one looks like a heart. I suppose these things are open to interpretation. I just happened to interpret them wrong. You'd get a very good view of them if you walked across the Wobbly Bridge from near St. Paul's Cathedral on the North Bank.
The black scuplture is called "Blockhead" and the pink one is called "Daddies Bighead".
From the view I have from across the Thames and a few hundred metres away the black one looks like some kind of old fashioned camera and the pink one looks like a heart. I suppose these things are open to interpretation. I just happened to interpret them wrong. You'd get a very good view of them if you walked across the Wobbly Bridge from near St. Paul's Cathedral on the North Bank.
Thursday, July 10, 2003
Friday, July 04, 2003
