Friday, September 26, 2003
This afternoon I had an interview at yet another agency but today's was with a really nice lady who was very positive and was smiley and nice. She is going to put me forward for the part time job which I applied for over the internet and thinks I will definitely get an interview. So that should be interesting. It'd be slightly pointless yet really nice to have days off during the week... It'd be refreshing to be able to do things during the week rather than wait to the weekends or evenings to do things along with every other person in London... so if I got it, it'd certainly give me something to think about. Long weekends... mid-week lay-ins...
Tonight I went out for my friend Vicki's 27th birthday. How worrying. Kathryn was there and she said she had spoken to another friend from uni called Shana. This got me remembering that we used to call her Shana Banana and then I remembered everyone else's nicknames... Obviously I was Boozy Suzy (very inventive) and there was Tequila Leela, Kathryn Aspirin (really scraping the bottom of the barrel there) and Melissa Pisshead (which doesn't even rhyme). We really were quite inventive - not. I made up Kathryn Aspirin and of that I am rightfully proud, so if you see Kathryn knocking about the place you know what to call her.
Packing for my exciting weekend... Nottingham, Hull (Kingston Upon Hull to be precise) and Newcastle and then a short stop in Nottingham again on the way back to break up the five hour journey. We are staying in hotels with swimming pools. Nice. Panic not, it's not going on my credit card. Might be in for another road trip the weekend after. Christ* - why am I looking for a job at all?
*Christ has a capital C because it is a noun not because "he" exists or is of any importance whatsoever.
Tonight I went out for my friend Vicki's 27th birthday. How worrying. Kathryn was there and she said she had spoken to another friend from uni called Shana. This got me remembering that we used to call her Shana Banana and then I remembered everyone else's nicknames... Obviously I was Boozy Suzy (very inventive) and there was Tequila Leela, Kathryn Aspirin (really scraping the bottom of the barrel there) and Melissa Pisshead (which doesn't even rhyme). We really were quite inventive - not. I made up Kathryn Aspirin and of that I am rightfully proud, so if you see Kathryn knocking about the place you know what to call her.
Packing for my exciting weekend... Nottingham, Hull (Kingston Upon Hull to be precise) and Newcastle and then a short stop in Nottingham again on the way back to break up the five hour journey. We are staying in hotels with swimming pools. Nice. Panic not, it's not going on my credit card. Might be in for another road trip the weekend after. Christ* - why am I looking for a job at all?
*Christ has a capital C because it is a noun not because "he" exists or is of any importance whatsoever.
Here are some photos from the festival. This is the fifth consecutive year that I have failed to take many or any decent photos whatsoever. This is a small selection of the least worst.
Lovely Brooke the dog, keeper of the Brookes bar
Lesson - never take photos with your camera up in the air cos you're not tall enough. This is Simon Farnaby accepting the Perrier Newcomer award for Waen Shepherd
Three drunk niCe mUms who were to be our source of entertainment for the night
The galliant contenders of the SYTYF? final standing around Bill Bailey as they are kept away from the free booze while they have their photos taken. Lovely Ed Petrie is on the left with the tasteless shirt on
The last Late N Live which saw all performers sitting on one of those arty cow things with Metro written on the side of it. Here we see the Flight of the Conchords using it as a seat
The big-haired David O'Doherty crowd surfing across the Debating Hall after his rap-off with Daniel Kitson
Don't worry, I wasn't taking photos while driving. Well, I was. I wasn't looking through the lens though. I held the camera towards the side of the car and hoped for the best. This is somewhere on the A1 approaching the Scotland/England border
The Angel of the North as seen from the A1. Its quite hard to see from the A1, especially when you are supposed to be driving
Lesson - never take photos with your camera up in the air cos you're not tall enough. This is Simon Farnaby accepting the Perrier Newcomer award for Waen Shepherd
Three drunk niCe mUms who were to be our source of entertainment for the night
The galliant contenders of the SYTYF? final standing around Bill Bailey as they are kept away from the free booze while they have their photos taken. Lovely Ed Petrie is on the left with the tasteless shirt on
The last Late N Live which saw all performers sitting on one of those arty cow things with Metro written on the side of it. Here we see the Flight of the Conchords using it as a seat
The big-haired David O'Doherty crowd surfing across the Debating Hall after his rap-off with Daniel Kitson
Don't worry, I wasn't taking photos while driving. Well, I was. I wasn't looking through the lens though. I held the camera towards the side of the car and hoped for the best. This is somewhere on the A1 approaching the Scotland/England border
The Angel of the North as seen from the A1. Its quite hard to see from the A1, especially when you are supposed to be driving
Thursday, September 25, 2003
Last night I went to see some comedy at The Ministry of Comedy at UCL Student Union. It was very brilliant. I mostly liked Alistair Barrie and Mark Watson. They were both excellent. On my way home I saw Chris Addison on the concourse at Charing Cross but decided it was a bad time to introduce myself just in case I scared him a bit... he might have been drinking, it was late.
Anyway, I got home in time to see Brain Candy on BBCThree which is really good but should be better. I am not sure why it lacks something even though I really like it... Good to see that they featured the lovely Perrier-nominee and double Comedy Lounge award winner, Alex Horne doing a very funny joke about shopping centres in America. Remember to go and see him at the Soho Theatre (1-4 October) and remember we told you how funny, delightful and inspiring his how is. Those of you who have seen it might be interested to know that I noted with interest that Mark Watson must use a similar method of measuring an audience as he commented that we had been "genial". I think that's one up from Fish.
Today I was horrified to note that the stupid thicko at the local petrol station had ripped me off. This is my complaint letter. Please note that I am very brilliant at writing scathing bitchy letters but I was shaking after I had screamed at the three twats in the petrol station this afternoon when I went to get my money back... I have added some supplementary comments for your benefit... Incidentally it is a Total service station so please join me in my boycott of all Total service stations (unless under extreme emergency circumstances).
--------------------------------------------
Dear Sir or Madam (Always good to start off polite and seemingly well educated in matters of writing letters)
I have a complaint to make against Wickham Manor Service Station, 171 High Street, West Wickham, Kent, BR4 0LU. (Full address to make sure they know exactly which bunch of tw*ts I am referring to)
On Sunday 21 September 2003 at around 3pm I filled up my 1.4 litre Fiesta (a.k.a. Tony Tonytoné) with exactly 34 litres of Unleaded petrol. I was at pump 8, which is adjacent to pump 7, which was being used by a gentleman with a Toyota. (I originally put a large Toyota but I decided that might have been mistaken for some kind of euphimism)
Essentially what happened was (see how I suggest that I am cutting a long story short but end up writing a page and a half) that the attendant was not paying attention to which car was at which pump and when the man at pump 7 went to pay, he paid for my petrol. When I got to the counter to pay for pump 8, the attendant looked confused (this I am presuming, is because that lot in the petrol station don't have a brain cell between them) and instead told me that I must mean pump 7 in which case I have a total of £63.53 to pay. I argued against this as my car was clearly stationary by pump 8 which confused the attendant even more. It had obviously dawned on him that he had allowed the man from pump 7 to get away with about £40 worth of petrol, (which was very naughty of Mr. Toyota cos he would have been well aware that he was paying for the wrong petrol, the theiving c*nt) which if my memory serves me was actually diesel fuel. Not only does my fiesta not run on diesel, but there is no way anyone could fit £63 worth of petrol into a 1.4 litre fiesta. (Always best to get some form of cutting sarcasm into your complaint letters)
After a minute the attendant asked me just to give him £20 in cash presumably because a queue was forming, (which Kathryn reckons he was just going to pocket) but I did not have that much money on me so he took my card ran it through the swipe machine and charged me for £20 of petrol rather than checking the exact amount which was £26.17 as far as I remember - I had taken exactly 34 litres of unleaded fuel. (I never take a round number of litres... My stupid reason for this which suggests how much of a twat I can be is that it took £34.01 of diesel for me to get from Edinburgh to London in my lovely Vauxhall Vectra so the number 34 stuck in my mind).
Today, Thursday 25 September 2003, I checked my credit card statement and was infuriated to see that my card was charged with £20 and then a second amount of £43.53 - obviously the difference for the remainder of the diesel which I had told the attendant was not mine. This afternoon, I went straight to the petrol station and spoke to the supervisor who then went and got another man who was presumably the manager. The attendant from Sunday was also there serving customers (that should read attempting to serve customers cos he was still getting people's pump numbers wrong). I explained the situation and after pointing out that it was impossible that I could have spent so much on fuel and also telling them to check their CCTV and pump records I was asked to fill in my details on a refund form (which I probably shouldn't have done cos now if I get him sacked he's going to hunt me down and kill me). I was then asked for my credit card number which I correctly refused to hand over (I'm not an idiot). I was told that it didn't matter anyway as "we have a record of you card number anyway." (Cheeky fuckers) I finally received a cash refund but I find this absolutely unacceptable.
A member of your staff fraudulently used my credit card details without my knowledge or consent and from the attitude of the manager of the service station I would imagine there was no disciplinary action taken and no apology was made to me (I want a written apology and the ignorant w*nker sacked). This is a very serious offence, which I have already reported to my credit card company and which I will be taking further as it amounts to fraud and theft. (I am going to the local filth tomorrow)
Other people I have spoken to about this have also commented on the poor level of customer service at this service station as well as the inability of attendants to distinguish between adjacent pumps. (My mum and Kathryn have both noticed this.... Kathryn noticed it about 3 mins before I did)
I would appreciate your comments on this situation, as I am sure that this is not the kind of staff conduct or company practices that you encourage. I would like to reiterate how angry I am. (In short, I am f*cking livid)
Yours faithfully (this is the correct sign-off for a letter starting 'dear sir or madam')
Susan Turnbull (this is my name)
--------------------------------------------
So what do you think? Not bad eh? I want blood. And petrol vouchers would be nice. I really am totally livid. I can't believe the cheek of the man to just make a note of my credit card number and run the extra money through the till. Did he not think I'd notice. What an absolute c*nt.
Anyway, tonight I went round to my brother's for dinner and was very impressed with his roast potatoes. He must have picked up his culinary skills from my dad, the chef, rather than my mum, who knows the phone number of the local chip shop... Sam showed me the bridesmaid dress she thinks she has decided on for us lot and its actually quite nice. I didn't manage to get out of her what colour she is planning on having... I am still pushing for black. It's timeless and classy. And I could wear it again after the wedding perhaps, should I ever have the need to wear a dress ever again.
I am at home now. Bored. Today I applied for a part-time job in a bank which I am more than qualified for. It'd be a job share working 3 days a week so that would mean I'd have 2 days off during the week (did you work that our for yourself?!) Thinking about it, I reckon it'd be perfect for me. A compromise perhaps for having to work in a bank in the first place. And its doing a job that I did at the Royal Bank of Scotland which was easy and I did enjoy it. I have an interview at the relevant agency tomorrow so they might put me forward for it. Ace. And its still a decent amount of money. And as we know, money isn't everything.
Over and out. I am thinking I might send my letter to Total with my added comments...
Anyway, I got home in time to see Brain Candy on BBCThree which is really good but should be better. I am not sure why it lacks something even though I really like it... Good to see that they featured the lovely Perrier-nominee and double Comedy Lounge award winner, Alex Horne doing a very funny joke about shopping centres in America. Remember to go and see him at the Soho Theatre (1-4 October) and remember we told you how funny, delightful and inspiring his how is. Those of you who have seen it might be interested to know that I noted with interest that Mark Watson must use a similar method of measuring an audience as he commented that we had been "genial". I think that's one up from Fish.
Today I was horrified to note that the stupid thicko at the local petrol station had ripped me off. This is my complaint letter. Please note that I am very brilliant at writing scathing bitchy letters but I was shaking after I had screamed at the three twats in the petrol station this afternoon when I went to get my money back... I have added some supplementary comments for your benefit... Incidentally it is a Total service station so please join me in my boycott of all Total service stations (unless under extreme emergency circumstances).
Dear Sir or Madam (Always good to start off polite and seemingly well educated in matters of writing letters)
I have a complaint to make against Wickham Manor Service Station, 171 High Street, West Wickham, Kent, BR4 0LU. (Full address to make sure they know exactly which bunch of tw*ts I am referring to)
On Sunday 21 September 2003 at around 3pm I filled up my 1.4 litre Fiesta (a.k.a. Tony Tonytoné) with exactly 34 litres of Unleaded petrol. I was at pump 8, which is adjacent to pump 7, which was being used by a gentleman with a Toyota. (I originally put a large Toyota but I decided that might have been mistaken for some kind of euphimism)
Essentially what happened was (see how I suggest that I am cutting a long story short but end up writing a page and a half) that the attendant was not paying attention to which car was at which pump and when the man at pump 7 went to pay, he paid for my petrol. When I got to the counter to pay for pump 8, the attendant looked confused (this I am presuming, is because that lot in the petrol station don't have a brain cell between them) and instead told me that I must mean pump 7 in which case I have a total of £63.53 to pay. I argued against this as my car was clearly stationary by pump 8 which confused the attendant even more. It had obviously dawned on him that he had allowed the man from pump 7 to get away with about £40 worth of petrol, (which was very naughty of Mr. Toyota cos he would have been well aware that he was paying for the wrong petrol, the theiving c*nt) which if my memory serves me was actually diesel fuel. Not only does my fiesta not run on diesel, but there is no way anyone could fit £63 worth of petrol into a 1.4 litre fiesta. (Always best to get some form of cutting sarcasm into your complaint letters)
After a minute the attendant asked me just to give him £20 in cash presumably because a queue was forming, (which Kathryn reckons he was just going to pocket) but I did not have that much money on me so he took my card ran it through the swipe machine and charged me for £20 of petrol rather than checking the exact amount which was £26.17 as far as I remember - I had taken exactly 34 litres of unleaded fuel. (I never take a round number of litres... My stupid reason for this which suggests how much of a twat I can be is that it took £34.01 of diesel for me to get from Edinburgh to London in my lovely Vauxhall Vectra so the number 34 stuck in my mind).
Today, Thursday 25 September 2003, I checked my credit card statement and was infuriated to see that my card was charged with £20 and then a second amount of £43.53 - obviously the difference for the remainder of the diesel which I had told the attendant was not mine. This afternoon, I went straight to the petrol station and spoke to the supervisor who then went and got another man who was presumably the manager. The attendant from Sunday was also there serving customers (that should read attempting to serve customers cos he was still getting people's pump numbers wrong). I explained the situation and after pointing out that it was impossible that I could have spent so much on fuel and also telling them to check their CCTV and pump records I was asked to fill in my details on a refund form (which I probably shouldn't have done cos now if I get him sacked he's going to hunt me down and kill me). I was then asked for my credit card number which I correctly refused to hand over (I'm not an idiot). I was told that it didn't matter anyway as "we have a record of you card number anyway." (Cheeky fuckers) I finally received a cash refund but I find this absolutely unacceptable.
A member of your staff fraudulently used my credit card details without my knowledge or consent and from the attitude of the manager of the service station I would imagine there was no disciplinary action taken and no apology was made to me (I want a written apology and the ignorant w*nker sacked). This is a very serious offence, which I have already reported to my credit card company and which I will be taking further as it amounts to fraud and theft. (I am going to the local filth tomorrow)
Other people I have spoken to about this have also commented on the poor level of customer service at this service station as well as the inability of attendants to distinguish between adjacent pumps. (My mum and Kathryn have both noticed this.... Kathryn noticed it about 3 mins before I did)
I would appreciate your comments on this situation, as I am sure that this is not the kind of staff conduct or company practices that you encourage. I would like to reiterate how angry I am. (In short, I am f*cking livid)
Yours faithfully (this is the correct sign-off for a letter starting 'dear sir or madam')
Susan Turnbull (this is my name)
So what do you think? Not bad eh? I want blood. And petrol vouchers would be nice. I really am totally livid. I can't believe the cheek of the man to just make a note of my credit card number and run the extra money through the till. Did he not think I'd notice. What an absolute c*nt.
Anyway, tonight I went round to my brother's for dinner and was very impressed with his roast potatoes. He must have picked up his culinary skills from my dad, the chef, rather than my mum, who knows the phone number of the local chip shop... Sam showed me the bridesmaid dress she thinks she has decided on for us lot and its actually quite nice. I didn't manage to get out of her what colour she is planning on having... I am still pushing for black. It's timeless and classy. And I could wear it again after the wedding perhaps, should I ever have the need to wear a dress ever again.
I am at home now. Bored. Today I applied for a part-time job in a bank which I am more than qualified for. It'd be a job share working 3 days a week so that would mean I'd have 2 days off during the week (did you work that our for yourself?!) Thinking about it, I reckon it'd be perfect for me. A compromise perhaps for having to work in a bank in the first place. And its doing a job that I did at the Royal Bank of Scotland which was easy and I did enjoy it. I have an interview at the relevant agency tomorrow so they might put me forward for it. Ace. And its still a decent amount of money. And as we know, money isn't everything.
Over and out. I am thinking I might send my letter to Total with my added comments...
Tuesday, September 23, 2003
My life is one big melting pot of double acts at the moment - Richard&Judy, Fern&Philip, Terry&Gaby, Des&Mel. Despite my valiant efforts and steadily increasing phone bill I haven't managed to win any competitions on any daytime telly programmes but I have learnt how to make hollandaise sauce and could probably give an accurate valuation of any antiques you have lying about the place.
I am potentially going to be rescued from my boredom at the weekend as I hope to venture on an exciting road trip, but this time not on my own. And I am getting my hair cut so that is a glimmer of excitement in my otherwise dull existence. Tomorrow I have an interview at yet another agency but I am actually quite looking forward to this one. The recruitment guy mentioned that he was interested to see that I run Comedy Lounge cos he said he had a look at it and was pleased to see that two of his friends won an award... intriguing. Happily it turns out that he went to university with the fantastic Danny and Dan of Live Ghost Hunt fame. So that will make for a fun chat and I can probably be quite honest with him about only wanting a temp job in a bank as an absolute last resort. In fact if he has ever read the blog he will know that already!
Last night I had a terrifying nightmare. I can't remember the exact details but I remember that pretty much everyone was turning into vampires and demons and the only way to stop them killing me was to shoot them but no-one had a gun. I remember being chased a lot and I remember being terrified most of the time. I have only ever watched one episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer so it can't have anything to do with wanting to be Sarah Michelle Geller. I'm amazed I got any sleep at all last night. I think it might have been slightly induced by alcohol but I was only tipsy.
This is the cover for the new Blur single. It's very pretty and I am looking forward to owning every format to add to my Blur shrine. I have sadly yet sensibly sold my tickets for Blur in Amsterdam, Paris and Brussels. That would have been fun but I just have no way of funding such extravagance. Oh well. Que sera sera.
I am potentially going to be rescued from my boredom at the weekend as I hope to venture on an exciting road trip, but this time not on my own. And I am getting my hair cut so that is a glimmer of excitement in my otherwise dull existence. Tomorrow I have an interview at yet another agency but I am actually quite looking forward to this one. The recruitment guy mentioned that he was interested to see that I run Comedy Lounge cos he said he had a look at it and was pleased to see that two of his friends won an award... intriguing. Happily it turns out that he went to university with the fantastic Danny and Dan of Live Ghost Hunt fame. So that will make for a fun chat and I can probably be quite honest with him about only wanting a temp job in a bank as an absolute last resort. In fact if he has ever read the blog he will know that already!
Last night I had a terrifying nightmare. I can't remember the exact details but I remember that pretty much everyone was turning into vampires and demons and the only way to stop them killing me was to shoot them but no-one had a gun. I remember being chased a lot and I remember being terrified most of the time. I have only ever watched one episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer so it can't have anything to do with wanting to be Sarah Michelle Geller. I'm amazed I got any sleep at all last night. I think it might have been slightly induced by alcohol but I was only tipsy.
This is the cover for the new Blur single. It's very pretty and I am looking forward to owning every format to add to my Blur shrine. I have sadly yet sensibly sold my tickets for Blur in Amsterdam, Paris and Brussels. That would have been fun but I just have no way of funding such extravagance. Oh well. Que sera sera.
Friday, September 19, 2003
oh yes. And I have just got back from Kathryn's. We wandered around Croydon after we went swimming and I took my beautifu boots back for a refund. Gutted. They are very beautiful... see...
It's not fair. Boots never fit me. My calves are too small. Not that I should be moaning about that but boots just gape and look stupid. I have been desperately looking for a pair of flat black boots which look nice and are quite plain but can I find any? Can I hell. It's like the parka saga of two Xmas's ago. Could I find a single parka when I wanted one? No, I couldn't. I had to wait a whole year until every other bugger was wearing one and fashion decided that the shops were allowed to stock them. It's just not fair.
Anyway, we got a Thai take away for tea and went back to K's to watch telly. We decided to watch the footage we took at Kate's wedding including us arsing around in the hotel room trying to get clips to send in to Lisa Riley to earn us our fortune. It really is quite sad quite how totally funny we find ourselves. To the extent that we were sitting eating our tea and filming each other doing nothing and then watching it on TV and finding it side-splittingly funny. We were pointing out things which had happened literally seconds ago saying "do you remember that bit?!" There is definitely something wrong with us. In my case I would say it is the lack of human interaction I have experienced since being "in between jobs".
I probably shouldn't have told you that...
It's not fair. Boots never fit me. My calves are too small. Not that I should be moaning about that but boots just gape and look stupid. I have been desperately looking for a pair of flat black boots which look nice and are quite plain but can I find any? Can I hell. It's like the parka saga of two Xmas's ago. Could I find a single parka when I wanted one? No, I couldn't. I had to wait a whole year until every other bugger was wearing one and fashion decided that the shops were allowed to stock them. It's just not fair.
Anyway, we got a Thai take away for tea and went back to K's to watch telly. We decided to watch the footage we took at Kate's wedding including us arsing around in the hotel room trying to get clips to send in to Lisa Riley to earn us our fortune. It really is quite sad quite how totally funny we find ourselves. To the extent that we were sitting eating our tea and filming each other doing nothing and then watching it on TV and finding it side-splittingly funny. We were pointing out things which had happened literally seconds ago saying "do you remember that bit?!" There is definitely something wrong with us. In my case I would say it is the lack of human interaction I have experienced since being "in between jobs".
I probably shouldn't have told you that...
I went swimming today. And I went swimming on Wednesday. That is the most impressive burst of activity I have experienced in quite some time. I am possibly going to aquafit on Sunday as well. Yes, that's right... I am like some kind of modern-day mermaid.
Last night I went to a venue relaunch on the arm of the beautiful Helena at The Clink museum in London Bridge. Free drinks all night and a tour of the old prison. It was really good fun. We were late for the tour so we had to wander around looking for the rest of the party on our own. It was swarming with those horrendous unrealistic models of people suffering various tortures, but one of the corporate monkeys at The Clink had obviously come up with the idea of drafting in some local drama students to inject some life into the old place. They were actually really funny. When one of them, whilst pretending to be a poor, asked if we could spare some change, Helena cooly replied with..."actually we're just looking for the tour... do you know where they are?" but the acting gimp refused to come out of character and come to our rescue. Having said that, there was one guy who was really really funny and had obviously done well at Lamda during the Being A Mong module. He kept peeping through the iron bars into whichever room we were in and then sort of moaning. I spotted his tricks early on which kept me very amused but H was slightly less fortunate and once she spotted him behind her screamed "Jesus Christ!" quite loudly which made me jump and equally look a bit of a twat. It really was fun though. To our credit, we sank quite a lot of Smirnoff Ices and still refused to dance with the business men in their suits and ties... very, very wrong. There was a nice lady walking around who came over to us and drew our charicatures. We made sure she had both of our best sides but she managed to rip us both to pieces. What do you think...?!
Anyway, yesterday afternoon I went into the school where my mum teaches to sit in a few maths lessons and see if it really would be hell on earth. They were Year 7 (or first year to anyone over 25) lessons so they were pretty bloody boring stuff but it reminded me how much we take education for granted. We would find it ridiculous to think that a grown person wouldn't be able to correctly order simple fractions such as 1.25, 1.36 and 1.28 but there were kids in the class that couldn't grasp it, and there are grown-ups around who can't do it either. But if no-one has taught you then how would you know. Surely it would be incredibly geeky and middle-aged of me to become a maths teacher... I'd have to grow a beard and develop body odour problems. I am not sure I'm ready for that at this stage of my life...
Last night I went to a venue relaunch on the arm of the beautiful Helena at The Clink museum in London Bridge. Free drinks all night and a tour of the old prison. It was really good fun. We were late for the tour so we had to wander around looking for the rest of the party on our own. It was swarming with those horrendous unrealistic models of people suffering various tortures, but one of the corporate monkeys at The Clink had obviously come up with the idea of drafting in some local drama students to inject some life into the old place. They were actually really funny. When one of them, whilst pretending to be a poor, asked if we could spare some change, Helena cooly replied with..."actually we're just looking for the tour... do you know where they are?" but the acting gimp refused to come out of character and come to our rescue. Having said that, there was one guy who was really really funny and had obviously done well at Lamda during the Being A Mong module. He kept peeping through the iron bars into whichever room we were in and then sort of moaning. I spotted his tricks early on which kept me very amused but H was slightly less fortunate and once she spotted him behind her screamed "Jesus Christ!" quite loudly which made me jump and equally look a bit of a twat. It really was fun though. To our credit, we sank quite a lot of Smirnoff Ices and still refused to dance with the business men in their suits and ties... very, very wrong. There was a nice lady walking around who came over to us and drew our charicatures. We made sure she had both of our best sides but she managed to rip us both to pieces. What do you think...?!
Anyway, yesterday afternoon I went into the school where my mum teaches to sit in a few maths lessons and see if it really would be hell on earth. They were Year 7 (or first year to anyone over 25) lessons so they were pretty bloody boring stuff but it reminded me how much we take education for granted. We would find it ridiculous to think that a grown person wouldn't be able to correctly order simple fractions such as 1.25, 1.36 and 1.28 but there were kids in the class that couldn't grasp it, and there are grown-ups around who can't do it either. But if no-one has taught you then how would you know. Surely it would be incredibly geeky and middle-aged of me to become a maths teacher... I'd have to grow a beard and develop body odour problems. I am not sure I'm ready for that at this stage of my life...
Wednesday, September 17, 2003
Got my photos back today so I'll stick some up. But check out this beautiful massive blue car that I drove from Edinburgh to Newcastle to London in. Its my dream car. See how big it is. I am in love with it. Maybe that will spur me on to suffer working in a bank. I gather it would cost about £22,000 to buy new. It runs on diesel and it cost me a ridiculously small £34.01 in fuel to drive all those 460 miles home. Bargain. Check out the smug, slightly over-excited look on my face!
Tuesday, September 16, 2003
I am beginning to feel like David Blane - trapped in my room for 44 days (well, it's been 15 days so far since I was supposed to go back to work) but I can almost guarantee that I am a whole lot more bored than him. The days are just creeping past and I am doing literally nothing except trying to win competitions on This Morning and The Terry and Gaby Show. There is a distinct lack of free things to do in London. I am totally skint, at least this time last year I had my savings to dig into! Bored bored bored. At least before I was being paid to be bored.
Still no job. I am 'looking' for a temp job in a bank for the short term so I can pay off my credit card and save some money while I really decide what it is that I want to do with my life. My mum is trying to talk me into becoming a maths teacher, and with their long summer, easter and christmas holidays it is very tempting. I need to go and see a Careers adviser and see what they have to say about a possible future career. I think I want a career as opposed to just another job... or at least a job which I enjoy where there are nice people and the prime purpose of the company isn't necessarily just to make money.
I go through waves of being calm and relaxed and pleased that I have some time to myself and then panic at having no money but then despair when I realise the only jobs I am really qualified for are in bloody corporate banks. Soul destroying. If I had the money and no fear of flying, I'd be on the first plane to Australia or on the first Euorostar to Europe.
Things to look forward to include:
TV
Little Britain - Tuesdays @ 9pm BBC3
Live
Live Ghost Hunt - 28/29 September @ Hen & Chickens, Islington& 4 October @ Albany Empire, Deptford
Alex Horne - 1-4 October @ Soho Theatre
Gary Le Strange - 22/29 October @ Soho Theatre
Music
Turin Brakes - 1 December @ Hammersmith Apollo
Blur - 2/3/4 December @ Brixton Academy
Still no job. I am 'looking' for a temp job in a bank for the short term so I can pay off my credit card and save some money while I really decide what it is that I want to do with my life. My mum is trying to talk me into becoming a maths teacher, and with their long summer, easter and christmas holidays it is very tempting. I need to go and see a Careers adviser and see what they have to say about a possible future career. I think I want a career as opposed to just another job... or at least a job which I enjoy where there are nice people and the prime purpose of the company isn't necessarily just to make money.
I go through waves of being calm and relaxed and pleased that I have some time to myself and then panic at having no money but then despair when I realise the only jobs I am really qualified for are in bloody corporate banks. Soul destroying. If I had the money and no fear of flying, I'd be on the first plane to Australia or on the first Euorostar to Europe.
Things to look forward to include:
TV
Little Britain - Tuesdays @ 9pm BBC3
Live
Live Ghost Hunt - 28/29 September @ Hen & Chickens, Islington& 4 October @ Albany Empire, Deptford
Alex Horne - 1-4 October @ Soho Theatre
Gary Le Strange - 22/29 October @ Soho Theatre
Music
Turin Brakes - 1 December @ Hammersmith Apollo
Blur - 2/3/4 December @ Brixton Academy
Thursday, September 11, 2003
*THIS* is going to be brilliant!!
Monday, September 01, 2003
"Find a job you love
and you will never have
to work a day in your life"
My new work ethic. Not that I could possibly imagine the next job I get will be all that enjoyable... still, we can dream.
and you will never have
to work a day in your life"
My new work ethic. Not that I could possibly imagine the next job I get will be all that enjoyable... still, we can dream.
Joy of joys. Contrary to us believing it would be great to get home from the festival and get back to normal, I received a phone call today from my agency saying that I no longer have a position with my previous employers - you remember... the ones who I have worked for for nine months and said I could have six weeks off unpaid and got a temp into cover me. It was very nice of them to tell me today seeings as they thought I was going back to work tomorrow, there's nothing like a good warning. So thanks a bunch JPMorgan. I am out of a job which is just another in a long line of kicks in the teeth. Apologies for the melancholy posting but its been a rollercoaster of a month and what with the nightmares I faced at my Grandma's house on the way home from Edinburgh and everything else, I now have no income.
So if anyone needs anyone to do anything at all for money then please do let me know. Having to cancel leaving the house or having any fun in the immediate future.
I promise I will post something cheerier in the morning. Well probably the afternoon.
Incidentally, Alex Horne amongst other great shows will be appearing at the Soho Theatre in October. We highly recommend you go to as many of these as possible.
So if anyone needs anyone to do anything at all for money then please do let me know. Having to cancel leaving the house or having any fun in the immediate future.
I promise I will post something cheerier in the morning. Well probably the afternoon.
Incidentally, Alex Horne amongst other great shows will be appearing at the Soho Theatre in October. We highly recommend you go to as many of these as possible.
