Team Comedy Lounge

Christmas was very nice thank you very much for asking. I couldn't sleep on Xmas eve cos I was so excited about giving everyone my brilliant presents. Mum remembered to get me the silver ring and everyone loved the presents I bought them and for some reason my brother saw fit to get me an electric toothbrush. It's my own fault for telling him to get me something he thinks I'd like. Oh well, it's my birthday in 3 weeks time so he has one last attempt to get it right and access to my Amazon wish list. I know people say this every year and I don't think I am normally one of those people, but I don't think I have ever eaten so much food in two days as I did on Xmas and Boxing Day. We went round to Sam's family on Xmas day which is apparently the first time my dad hasn't cooked Xmas dinner in about 30 years and her mum is an amazing cook. I don't think there was a single type of vegetable that she didn't cook in some way and she even had to do vegetarian stuff for Rob and Sam. There were only 8 of us but it was really brilliant. We all learnt new things about each other round the table. We discovered that I have a piece of lead in my hand which is visible to the eye from when my brother stabbed me with a pencil when we were little; we found out that Sam has always wanted a Mr. Potato Head and Rob always wanted a Big Yellow Teapot; and most impressively we discovered that my dad has a few scars on his leg from where he was hit by a bullet when he was in the army. My Grandma was mentioned and we talked about health and death for a while and my dad said that he doesn't worry about anything. He just lives life as he wants to and takes whatever comes, which is how I live and is obviously where I get it from. He then proceeded to tell an awful joke which I laughed at so that's clearly where I get my sense of humour from too. I was too tired to play board games so just sat and watched telly and cooed and aahed at Stuart Little while it became apparent that my brothers future family-in-law are extremely competitive. Me and my dad were killing ourselves laughing as they argued over the rules and methods of getting out of jail in Monopoly until thankfully Eastenders came on and the game ended. Then somehow it was time for more food. Then we went home and I went straight to bed.

No sooner had I gone to sleep then it was time to wake up, get dressed and go over to my brother's house for lunch. I drove over myself cos I was possibly going to meet up with Helen & Chris and see their rabbit, Chester, so I got there a bit earlier than everyone else at 2pm. Ended up not leaving until nearly midnight after watching The Office and French and Saunders. We played my Rock and Pop Quiz from M&S and also Articulate - which my team won - both of which again demonstrated how competitive Sam's family all are.

I am currently trying to play the debt game and doing quite well -or I will be once I break even in the middle of January. My new gold credit card came today and I worked out that on my three current cards (I have about another 4/5 which I dont use anymore) I have a combined credit limit of £12,220 which may be enough to buy myself a Vectra. With the wages that I haven't spent (I have about £5,500 on my cards cos I put everything on them) I am going to invest in an ISA and then just keep moving my debt between 0% cards as and when. I is very clever and I plan to actually have some savings for the first time in my poor skint little life. How exciting. In approximately a year's time I will have paid off my student loans too. A mere seven and a half years after graduating. That's quite special. So that's good news and it is all due to my boredom and my incredible macro/formula filled excel spreadsheet. Having said that, my parents would shoot me if they knew how much I had on my cards. Oh well. At least I have an income, unlike when HSBC got me into all sorts of bother at University and then refused to give me a Graduate loan to pay it off.

Anyways...

Should be off in an hour or so. I'm exhausted and not entirely sure I'll be awake at midnight to welcome in the new year. Things we'll be doing include making cocktails, watching DVDs, eating and lazing around. Things we won't be doing include paying stupid amounts of money to get into somewhere which is usually free to get into, paying over the odds for drinks because we can't go anywhere else as everywhere is ticketed entry and waiting around forever for a cab home only to end up walking home cold and fed up. Happy new year!

Today at work is very boring. I have more or less nothing to do which is making the day drag. And the fact that I am waiting for someone to tell me I can go home isn’t helping. We are leaving early but I gather that could mean 4pm but then I do get paid hourly so I shouldn’t really moan – and I have done all my Xmas shopping. Tonight I am mostly flicking through the TV guide and setting my video to record everything when we are at Sam’s parents’ house. Don’t want to miss the Office or anything decent like that. I will of course be going out of my way to miss Only Fools And Horses. There’s a new Porridge thing on at some point too which the brilliant Danny and Dan wrote so that’s a viewing must as well. To be honest I’ve absolutely no idea what’s on telly this Xmas. I’ve been far too tired recently to really be all that arsed. It’s mainly Damon Albarn’s fault but I won’t hold it against him.

Its about time I bought some new music and top of my list at the moment are The Delays and Franz Ferdinand. The Delays are playing at the 100 club the day after my birthday but I am fairly confident that I will be far too hungover to contemplate dragging my unwilling self into London when I’ve had the day off to recover. I am thinking of going to Nottingham the weekend following my birthday and persuading someone to come and see Gene with me at the Rescue Rooms which is very tiny indeed. I’ve not seen them for years and years. I don’t think they’ve released anything for a while but it’d be good to hear the old stuff. Might check who’s on at Jongleurs and Just The Tonic that weekend and see if it’s worth me staying for the Sunday night too. Then again, Aqualung are playing in Brighton on the Sunday night so I might wander down on my lonesome if I can muster up the motivation. I would like to see them more than once on their acoustic tour of churches in the UK – maybe I’ll postpone my rail and sail to Dublin until Aqualung play – or even make it my second visit. I am waffling now cos I am bored and I am trying to occupy my bored mind.

Just as I was about to get up at 7.30am this morning my Uncle called to say my Grandma just died. What a relief. I’m glad I went to see her on the way home from Edinburgh or I wouldn’t have seen her before she died – I’d not seen her since my Grand-dad’s funeral when I was 14. I’m not sure when the funeral is going to be or how long it will take to arrange over Christmas. I imagine it will be next week but I am hoping it will be after new year but then it might be better for my dad and my uncle if it’s done before the end of this year. So she just about hung on past her 91st birthday. My Grand-dad on my mum’s side is the same age and my Grandma a few years younger and they are quite exceptional for their age. My Nan still swims regularly and my Grand-dad is still driving. He has quite bad asthma and is diabetic but other than that they are in tip top shape. I’m not sure how we’re going to get up to Newcastle. I suppose we might be able to drive now the snow is clearing but I know that for the first time in their lives my parents are thinking of getting the train – which, of course, is going to be fully booked with the impending new year migration. I remember it snowed quite badly for my Grand-dad’s funeral which was early January. So much so that there is a really really steep hill leading to the little village my Uncle lives in and towards the church and the hearse nearly didn’t make it up. My Uncle used to work for the council so luckily got his mates on the Snow Plough to clear the roads and to make up time the hearse had to speed up wherever it could. So we’ll have to wait and see when the funeral is.

I found a brilliant article on the BBC news pages about technology in the future and found this…

“You could have a pint glass that sends a signal for a refill when it is empty. Or even have paint that contains electronic dust particles that could control a room's temperature or turn a wall into a big screen.”

Bring it on. That sounds like a lot of fun. Although I can’t help thinking that we’re several millennia away from the dust particle thing. As well as surfing BBCi, I have mostly been updating my Amazon wish list and I have over 130 items on it now. I plan to give myself a budget of £50 to spend on Amazon to treat myself to some birthday presents. They have some really cheap DVDs – I’m only going to replace my videos with DVDs if the extras are worth the cost. There are loads of DVDs I’d like but only cos they are pretty and I want to own them, I am sure I wouldn’t bother watching half of the DVDs on my wish list if I had them.

I am gathering intelligence that suggests that my services here will no longer be required after the end of January which would be quite good timing cos that’s when I am thinking of going on my rail and sail trip to Dublin. James just did say in full earshot of my boss and my boss’s boss that he doesn’t know how he’d have coped without me for the past few weeks and doesn’t know what he’s going to do without me when I leave. Bless him. I still don’t think they realise how much I am going to miss them when I finally do go!

Last night was ok. Not that amazing but I am glad I was there, otherwise I’d have felt I was missing out. It didn’t take me too long to drive there although I got lost a few times but I have quite a good sense of direction and excellent map skills so I soon found my way. The club was just around the corner from Avalon HQ, except it must have been the slightly dodgy side of Ladbroke Grove. It took me about 15 minutes to decide where to park my car and ended up going back to the first space I found and hiding all my tapes and anything else worth nicking under my blanket. The gig was ok, Damon didn’t come on til 10.30pm so we just chatted and twiddled our thumbs. I wasn’t very talkative cos I was so tired and since Eddie (E reg Metro) got stolen I always spent the night worrying about Tony if I have left him somewhere in London plus I had lost my diamond ring either in the car, at home or on the pavement around my car so I wasn’t really concentrating. The performance lasted about an hour and I was standing behind the lead singer of Athlete who was there with the rest of his gang. Dave and Alex from off of Blur were out and about too so that’s nice. It was very interesting to see that Simon Tong was playing with Damon, as was the male backing singer from the live Blur gigs who was also playing guitar. His voice really does compliment Damon’s perfectly. And of course Mike Smith was there playing sax and various other strange gadgets and seemed to be the one holding it all together. I was relieved when it was over and made to the cloakroom to get my coat so I could go and see whether Tony was still where I left him and whether I could find my ring. Thankfully he was still there waiting for me. I am always surprised to see him where I parked him… call me paranoid. I took an interesting route home after I got lost around Kings Road – just made my way to Vauxhall which is one of my routes home that I could do with my eyes shut. But obviously I wouldn’t cos that’s very dangerous indeed. Got home around 12.40am and went straight to bed after a final search of the passenger side of my car where I thankfully found my ring – that would have proved very costly to replace without my parents noticing. Couldn’t get out of bed for love nor money this morning so I got to work just before 10am – they don’t mind, they are very relaxed here and it’s not like I am always late so that’s good. Well done me. One more day and then I can start dishing out my presents and being smug cos mine are by far the best and most thoughtful. And I think I have managed to guilt trip my brother into coming round Xmas morning to open presents with us. He was planning just to go to Sam’s all day (and we will be going there for lunch) but my dad was upset he was snubbing us totally – as was I cos its not his and Sam’s families live more than 5 miles from each other. It’s his fault for being in a relationship and being totally under the thumb. Hopefully next year my uncle will come down for Xmas.

Half an hour to go until I can go home and then straight back out again. It’s going to take all the willpower I have to muster up the energy and motivation to go out tonight. I’m sure it’ll be fun once I get there. But Monday night is soap night… continuous from the moment I get home until 9pm. Might not leave til about 7/7.30pm to let the traffic die down. I know doors are at 9pm but Damon won’t be on til about 10/11pm so I’d have plenty of time to get there. That’d be nice. Have dinner and then leave after Hollyoaks or Emmerdale.

I’ve decided that I am going to buy myself a laptop and an ipod and *then* start saving for a new car. I was playing around with my brother’s ipod on the way to Greenwich last weekend and it is fantastic. He even has a little remote control for it. And most of the music he has on it is from the internet – most definitely the way forward, but not a route I am able to take with my rubbish old PC that I bought about five years ago. There is a bit of a waiting list for ipods I think. I did a bit of research over the weekend and I think Amazon is one of the cheapest places to buy them so I hope to be placing my order towards the end of January I think.

I also discovered that Virgin are doing rail and sail London – Dublin for £30 if booked a fortnight in advance, so I will be looking into that too and planning a trip to visit Sharon towards the end of January – maybe when I have my ipod to keep me company! I’ve never been to Sharon’s house in Dublin but she’s lived in Edinburgh for most of the time we’ve known each other. She’s not been to stay with me for about a year. Very lax. We must work on that in the new year.

Right. I am making a conscious decision to be in a good mood now and try to look forward to tonight. It’ll be nice to see the few people I’ll know and as I am driving I can leave when I like. Let’s just hope Tony is safe in West London… Also I forgot to say that I got a package through the post today from Amazon. It was stuff from my wish list… the new Electric Soft Parade album, the CD of Radio 4’s Giles Wembley Hogg Goes Off and also Talking Cock by Richard Herring, which I nearly bought this weekend. I know that Join Me secret santa was sending me something from Amazon but there was a £10 limit so I am hoping that’s not who it’s from (cos I only sent one CD) so I think it must be from someone else. But I’m not sure who…unless secret santa is just very generous. My detective work leads me to believe its another party cos the order date seems to be 20 December and secret santa sent me an email on 19th saying the elves were being work-shy and that the gift was on its way… However, the message said “Happy Lamb Jesus” which leads me to think it is someone I know or at least a fellow L&H fan… well whoever it is from I am very grateful. Thank you.

What else can I do to brighten up the day? Desperately trying to stay in a good mood! Went round to my brothers for dinner last night with my grandparents cos we’re not seeing them over Xmas. They really loved the hamper we made them and I must admit it was better than I had hoped. We got loads of things that we know they like: smoked salmon, newcastle brown ale, bucks fizz, diabetic chocolates and jam (for my grand-dad), crunch peanut butter, gherkins, soups, mature cheddar… we are very good grandchildren. I am quite bored. At least it’s lunch time now.

I've been saying *this* all along...!

What a *brilliant idea*

*This* is a bit of a bugger. I was going to treat myself to one for my b'day. Maybe if I order it now I'll get one in time for my next b'day.

I love *Pete Waterman* he's great.

This morning I experienced DLR rage. It was kind of funny but it really f*cking annoyed me at the same time. I was literally in the process of sitting down on a seat in the carriage and some pathetic immature woman obviously thought we were all playing musical chairs and that someone had just turned off the music and literally ran at me, pushed me out of the way, which sort of sent me flying as I was half sitting down and then sat down where I should have been. I was in shock and made no effort to get my seat back cos for me, not sitting down for 15 minutes really isn’t a major issue. I really couldn’t believe what she had just done – in full view of everyone, one bloke made a comment to the guy next to him about bringing shin pads tomorrow. I just made a point of laughing *at* her and muttered something under my breath which included the f word. For about 15 minutes I was totally bemused and calmed myself down by thinking of ways of getting her back like treading on her feet as I walked past to get off the train and quietly whispering to her that if she tried it again I’d “break her f*cking knee-caps”. But I was the bigger woman and just let it go. But if she does try it again then rest assured I’ll at least give a good tug on her hair.

Then I get to work to find two emails – one from some bloody french bird (and I say bloody french bird cos her email was really rude) who wanted a spare ticket for tonight’s Damon gig which I had apparently promised her. I hadn’t. And one from her friend asking if they could arrange to sort the ticket transaction before the gig tonight. Which is precisely why I told her I didn’t have a spare. Cos I have no idea what time I’ll get to the gig tonight and I’m certainly not hanging around outside before it starts. For god’s sake. I just can’t be arsed to go now. Its in West London and I’m having to drive there so I can get home. It’s at a nightclub, there’ll be loads of annoying Blur fans (I don’t count myself as one of those), possibly nowhere to sit, and I am in quite a bad mood now.

On a cheerier note, I’ve decided that I am going to buy myself a laptop and an ipod and *then* start saving for a new car. I was playing around with my brother’s ipod on the way to Greenwich last weekend and it is fantastic. He even has a little remote control for it. And most of the music he has on it is from the internet – most definitely the way forward, but not a route I am able to take with my rubbish old PC that I bought about five years ago.

Blimey, they’ve all just given me a bottle of Champagne to say thanks and happy Xmas. Bless them! I am going to have to get them all something special when I leave so they know how much I’ll miss them. God knows how I am going to cart two bottles of booze home without breaking them. They will both come in handy if I make it round to Caireen’s to stay in on new years eve. I won’t be in my house, so I’ll be home. But I’ll be out… but also still in. Caireen’ll be in. So will I be out or in?

Oh, I’m really going to miss my team when I leave Northern Trust. My boss just went round giving everyone a bottle of wine and I presumed no-one would give me anything but he walked back to his desk and came back with another one for me! He’s really nice, I really like it here. It’s just so typical. The one job I have had where it has been their choice to limit the time I’m here, as opposed to me secretly plotting to quit in time for the Festival, and I really like it here. Not work-wise obviously but the guys on my team are brilliant. I doubt any of them love their jobs but the laid back atmosphere makes such a difference. Never mind. Everything happens for a reason so we’ll just have to see which bank fate takes me to next…

RAR! Why wasn’t I there?

Xmas drinks were quite amusing – ended up staying out for two hours and leaving everyone in the pub to come back with Pete to get some lunch. They were on their sixth pints when we left. I was forced against my will to have a vodka and orange and felt knackered and immediately went bright red. I have no idea how they can drink so much during just one lunchtime and then come back and work. They talked about work for a bit and I listened and they decided that they needed an extra person to help with their workload and that they would start the “Keep Susan” campaign and make some placards and stand outside the main entrance with a burning oil drum. I was quite touched and also amused that they are under the illusion that I actually know what I’m doing. Somehow they seem to think I am some kind of accounts whizz cos none of them have been able to work out the recs system in the three years they’ve been here and I sussed it out after about a week. Bless them. I’ll really miss them when I go. They are getting their permanent person in March now I think – she’s being transferred internally from another department who are laying people off. It’s certainly not the ideal job for me but if I ever had to work in a bank indefinitely then I’d like it to be here or in a similar environment with such brilliant people.

I think I may finally be within the clutches of Blur/exhaustion related illness. Didn’t sleep at all well last night for a number of reasons and obviously Monday night’s frivolities are beginning to take their toll. I am desperately trying not to take any time off sick and I am doing very well so far (touch wood). I’m sure I’ll be ok after a good night’s sleep but I am supposed to be off to the last Jonathan Ross recording which I really want to go to. I am just so tired and I’d feel quite bad if my Dad gets news of my Grandma and I am off out trying to drink a license fee’s worth of booze at the BBC. And that may well push me over the edge. As might my desk’s Xmas drinks in about 45 minutes. We’re going to some real downmarket hotel across the quay where it’s really cheap but there’s no atmosphere whatsoever. I am also starving which is probably part of the reason why I am feeling quite so ropey but I’m going to have to wait until after the drinks to go to M&S while the boys head off to get a dirty burger – the thought of which is making me very queasy.

Bad news today. My dad came into my room late last night to tell me that my Grandma has apparently had three strokes in the past 24 hours and is really in a very bad way. I think she said last week that she wants to die, which is quite upsetting so I hope for her sake it happens soon. Dad reckons we’ll be heading up to Newcastle before the new year and although its going to be sad, it’ll be good to see my Uncle again, and I know my dad will be keen to see him too. I never really knew my Grandma that well cos her and my Uncle live up north and she hasn’t been well enough to travel for a long while. I’ve learnt a lot about my dad’s relationship with her, which is why it will be bearable and not as upsetting as when my Grand-dad died when I was 14. Dad’s real mum died when he was about 13 and his dad remarried within a year which is very soon afterwards and a bit too soon as far as his children were concerned. My dad joined the army as a result but had to lie about his age on his application form and forge his dad’s signature to get in. He’s got five much older sisters and they had all already left home so that just left my Uncle who has lived at home and looked after my Grandma ever since. I’m most sad for him, especially since she developed Alzeimers and got quite vicious as a result (as I found out when I stayed over on my way home from Edinburgh). I am sure it’ll be a relief all round so we’ll just have to wait and see how long she’ll last. She is 91 so that’s not bad going.

Apparently I am pretty. It is very nice of John Parks to say so but I am worried that he has overlooked my amazing talents as a web designer and professional bored person. Everyone else seems to have better adjectives but at least he didn't call me ugly or drunk - which I definitely was by the end of the night. There are one or two mistakes in the article but it has served to trigger further flash backs. Apologies again to niCe mUm - I dragged them over to a certain lovely curly haired comedian and made them do their impression of him. For this I am truly sorry. But I think they can take some consolation knowing that John Parks thinks they are ruggedly good-looking. Reading the article you'd think they'd have at least had a photographer from Hello or OK or something... I think I should just think myself lucky they didn't.

Just one thing though - I am sure Michelle's "vampish silk top" had straps...

Cheg on. I'm seriously contemplating purchasing an annual travelcard for this lovely capital city of ours so I've applied and been approved for another new 0% balance transfer credit card. I am now the proud owner of a spanking new gold card to the tune of £5500. I really must sit down one day and work out just how much credit I have between my various cards and then make sure I cut them up immediately before I get any wise ideas. I could probably buy a small house with them. Or a fleet of Vectras. So given my new state of financial liquidity, I think I am going to get myself an annual card which I am bound to lose at the first given opportunity. I had one about a year after I left university and I managed only to lose it once but Citibank shelled out for it and took the cash off me on a monthly basis - £1400 is a lot of money to cough up all in one go - or at all given the state of London's railways. It works out as getting 52 weeks for the price of 41 - so if we take into account eight weeks or so (four in Edinburgh and four looking fora job after Edinburgh) that I won't really be using it then it works out about the same but comes with a lot less hassle. Very exciting. I'll get air miles too, not that they are of much use to me. I can't believe things have come to this... getting excited about a piece of plastic that allows me to have a piece of plastic for a ticket instead of a piece of paper which lasts a year instead of a week. Now if that's not committment, I don't know what is.

I really am a human homing pigeon. No matter where I am, what the time is or what state I am in, I always manage to get myself home via public transport. As far as I remember I introduced myself to a new night bus route – the N159 – which goes to East Croydon where I disembarked, ran 10m to the N119 bus stop only to be greeted literally ten seconds later by the wonder that is the N119. It was a miracle. I couldn’t find my oyster card again (having almost lost it on the previous bus but luckily saw it on the floor out of the corner of my eye) but the friendly bus driver just let me on. I was the only person on the bus so it took about 5 minutes to get to West Wickham. Having said that, it was about 2.45am on a Monday night/Tuesday morning so I think the people of South East London were tucked up in their nice warm beds. I really must write Mayor Ken a letter and thank him for the gift of the N119. A gift which I think I am the only person to fully appreciate.

Anyway, Monday night saw the first annual IAFS Xmas party and it was a really brilliant night hostessed by the lovely Michelle and Zena (whose hair is looking very stylish indeed). I remember talking to Dan M, Paul L, Danny R, Sam S, Nick T, Simon F, the Mums, Chortle, Laurence/Gus and James from off of the Consultants – I don’t remember there being many girls there. I would like to apologise now for maybe allegedly being very slightly drunk on wine. Classy. And I have vague recollections of dragging Dave and Kris to another bar via some dancing machines which I made them go on (like little dancing monkeys) and then I remember talking rubbish at them just for the sake of having a number of heated debates (I said debates) due to my new found attitude. As the rhyme goes… “wine then beer, you’ll feel queer” or my new version…”wine then beer, you’ll wake up call in sick, attempt to sleep it off, not be able to put your head in a vertical position until 3pm and then be sick” it doesn’t rhyme but it is far more accurate. I do blame the mums for making me drink beer but I don’t think it would have been any prettier if I had carried on drinking wine.

Earlier on in the evening before the party I went for dinner with H to a little Chinese place tucked away round the back of China Town. It was very nice and we started on some really cheap house wine, which put us on the slippery slope but at least we managed to eat something to line our stomachs (which, you’ll be pleased to know, made a brief reappearance late yesterday afternoon). I really did feel not very well at all yesterday morning and did genuinely sound terrible when I called in work to tell them they’d have to do without me. They didn’t sound all that arsed.

Very tired again today. I had a bit of a doze yesterday afternoon so I was wide awake at midnight last night… leading to me deliberately getting to work half an hour late. It didn’t make me any less tired though and I am going out for dinner with H and then to the IAFS Xmas party tonight so I presume I will be in at least much the same or a worsened state tomorrow.

Had a very good weekend. Didn’t see Suede on Friday night cos I was having problems just standing up and keeping my eyes open, never mind carting myself to and from Brixton and attempting to jump up and down and get excited. Had a lovely quiet night in watching telly. Got up on Saturday quite late on in the morning, jumped in the shower and when I jumped out again I had a message to call my brother immediately. Ended up driving to his and going to Greenwich market. He wanted to find a bag for his girlfriend for Xmas and I just fancied going somewhere different for a change. We ended up parking nearer Blackheath than Greenwich and had to walk down quite a steep hill, which I wasn’t looking forward to walking back up. I bought one or two things and my brother bought a sort of massive stone candle burny thing to put in his empty fireplace and was incredibly heavy. He also got a smaller one for his girlfriend’s parents, which I had to carry. As a result, we were an absolute mess when we reached the top of the hill on the way back to the car.

Went to Suede’s “last ever gig” on Saturday night which was great but at the end of the night Brett announced that there would be another Suede record. I feel cheated somewhat. If you say you are going to split up then for god’s sake split up and be done with it. If you’re going to change your mind then do it before you announce the split to the world. As a Blur fan it was quite satisfying to see some lowly Suede fans shedding tears at the end of the night. And it was at the Astoria (home of the May 03 Blur Fest) the gig was over by 10pm so the gays of London town could take over the Astoria for G.A.Y. Suede were on at 7.30pm and played for about 2 hours which everyone seemed to think was a big deal but Blur have always played for that long. Therefore Blur win. Other than a lot of posturing, posing and strutting Brett didn’t have very much presence, he didn’t come down to the crowd once so I’m glad I didn’t bother getting myself squashed down the front like last time.

I did enjoy the gig once it got going and they started playing the faster songs but I think I’ve been spoilt this year, seeing Blur a stupid number of times (well into double figures) so Suede just didn’t make as much of an impact as usual. Another thing I noticed with my topical eye is that Suede fans are mostly androgenous looking, gay or just plain weird (or normal like me, of course). It was the most interesting mix of people and I dare say many of them stuck around for the following club night. Went straight home afterwards and took refuge in my nice comfy bed.

Didn’t do a huge amount on Sunday other than finally tidy up my room and wrap up some more presents. I wandered up the road to check out the new M&S and to get a few more things for the hamper we are making for my grandparents, but it was a bit of a disappointment. It is quite poorly laid out and there isn’t a huge amount inside. But its one redeeming feature is the fresh baked section, which includes cheese scones – hooray! I went home to eat my wares and then I have a bit of a doze. Had a chat with my mum about the absolutely obscene amount of money my brother earns and why he is so tight and also how much more exciting my life is than his. I did point out that my brother is happy as he is – engaged, house in the suburbs, good job that he fell into, obscene salary, plans for children etc – he’d hate my life and vice versa. We are both very different. Then my mum proceeded to the actual point of our 30 minute conversation and asked me if I have a boyfriend. *Yawn* how predictable. I pointed out that I have neither the time nor the inclination. She can think what she likes, she is very much like Edina in Ab Fab – she has bad fashion sense and would dearly love nothing more than for me to be gay. Which I amn’t.

On a more serious note, I don’t think Sharon will mind me telling you that her back is very poorly (that’s the exact medical term). I am very worried about her and promised that anything happened I would nip over to Ireland (on the ferry) and assemble David Gray, Damien Rice, Michael Snipe and all her other favourites by her bedside in order to speed up her recovery. She has three slipped/burst dehydrated discs, which sounds very unpleasant indeed and is having to lay down for a week until going back to the consultant for further prognosis. These are very drastic measures for getting out of work but they seem to have done the trick. I am planning a trip to Ireland just as soon as my services are no longer needed at Northern Trust. It is also a very good excuse for not having put the Xmas issue online yet and come to think of it Sharon won’t be able to get to the Post Office to post the wonderful Xmas presents she’s got me… boooooo.

Went for a coffee with Darren at lunch. I haven’t seen him for a very long time indeed until we bumped into each other in the lift a few weeks ago. He was also a good friend of someone I used to be very good friends with but he also had a falling out with her. So at least it wasn’t just me! He’s really lovely and as funny as I remember so I’m really glad to be back in touch with him. His birthday is the day before mine which I remember always used to cause a problem for our mutual “friend”. So as one friend bites the dust, another one comes back into the picture! Every cloud etc…

I am fading quite fast at the moment and hoping to leave 5 mins early so I can get the early train and get back to my lovely warm bed as soon as possible – in fact I’d be there an hour from now. My bed really is the most comfortable bed I have ever slept in. And I get to sleep in it every night. And most weekends I get to sleep in it for that extra bit longer. My pillows are lovely and soft too. It’s nice to put your head down on the pillow at night after carrying it around all day. God, I’m bored.

Come on!! The West Wickham branch of M&S Food has opened. We are now officially middle-class… HOORAY!!! “The Store is 10,000 sq, ft, of which 80% will be devoted to food and drink. There will be an in-store café and bakery (this hopefully includes cheese scones) and the store will also have childrenswear, lingerie and beauty products.” Bring it on. Will definitely be paying it a visit tomorrow afternoon when I am on the way back from demanding a refund from the Post Office. I am beginning to like this new, assertive me.

I am very bored at the moment and have @rse all to do, which is nice. Everyone is hung over from the Xmas party last night. The gossip I have managed to glean so far is that Steve walked into a door, Pete told his girlfriend he was “as judge as sober” and Adam was found lying on the stairs of his house, naked with sick all over him at 4am. Sounds like they all had a real laugh. I seem to be on my own on the desk a the moment which is fine cos the phones have hardly rung all day.

Martin Johnson is signing copies of his biography in Jubilee Plaza by my work. I gather he is the England Rugby Captain and that this is why there were more people than I have ever seen queuing for hours in the middle of a shopping centre. I dare say he wouldn’t be quite so popular had England not won (which was looking very very likely at one stage). But they did so it doesn’t matter and he should make lots of nice money from careful publicity, promotion and a timely book launch. Well done him.

I am introducing an exciting new regular feature to the blog. Every few days or so (if I remember) I will be checking the site statistics and posting the best google searches which lead surfers to these pages and analysing the possible thinking behind them.

08 Dec, Mon, 17:40:37 Google: dave gorman googlewhack adventure disappointing
This google search would be more accurate with the substitution of the word “disappointing” for “bloody brilliant”. This search only brings up a page of results, none of which are our blog so I am not sure how this infidel found our site. I only had brilliant things to say about Dave’s show after seeing it in Lewisham and another of my favourites, Christian O’Connell, took his mum to see it and said it was absolutely fantastic. Which it was. Sharon has failed to realise I have got away with not telling her the Googlewhack secrets… Oops.

08 Dec, Mon, 18:09:42 Google: izzard quotes Le Chat est dans la chambre
I did have tickets for Eddie Izzard’s gig next Monday but having heard it’s rubbish and that you can already get it on DVD (thereby saving me an inconvenient trip to Wemble) I have sold them so I can go and see Damian Allbran instead. The Izzard quote, “le chat est dans la chambre”, differs slightly from “le chat est dans *ma* chambre” which I coined many years before on the French Exchange when I was 14. The more memorable Izzard quote is “le plume de ma tante est pres de la chez de ma tante”. Everyone knows that.

08 Dec, Mon, 19:51:59 Yahoo: terry nutkins photographs
This one keeps on coming up. Some poor nature fan is obviously desperate to get their hands on some hot Nutkins polaroids. I’m afraid we can’t help but it was nice of him/her to visit us on the offchance.

10 Dec, Wed, 05:27:54 Google: adam buxton croydon
If Adam Buxton is ever in Croydon, I will be the first to know. Maybe he lives in Croydon although I can’t imagine why. It’d be nice if he did cos that’s near me. He is probably another fan of the N119.

10 Dec, Wed, 21:31:16 Google: sean meo
I would normally suggest that this was Sean Meo searching for himself, as most comedians do, but I think Sean Meo is an intelligent man and would have known to use capital letters for nouns.

11 Dec, Thu, 20:53:23 Yahoo: sean meo
The same googler looking for any breaking Sean Meo news that may have happened in the 23 hours since his last frantic search.

12 Dec, Fri, 11:48:17 Google: anthea turner microphone fire
This is a very interesting one indeed. “... mental which culminated in knocking both microphone stands over ... and long-suffering husband of Anthea Turner, Grant Bovey ... that the vision of fire trucks screaming ... “ Someone should inform the police of a plot to set Wendy Turner’s sister on fire with the use of some kind of flammable mic.

Just putting this up cos I like it. Say hello to Christian O’Connell and look upon his wonder and despair.

I am totally knackered from yesterday’s events. At one point it looked as if everything was going to go belly up but it all turned out that everything happened for the best. The Coronet TV recording was good – “Out of Time” and “The Universal”, played by a very disinterested Damon who was obviously keen to get going to Brighton. The TV people were running over half an hour late and Blur were due to leave at 4pm and only finished at 4.10pm. I think Dave saw me jokingly say “see you in Brighton” to Laurel which was somewhat embarassing. The man on the door told us Blur were getting the 4.24pm train from London Bridge which was where we were going but we got the train after. I did have a feeling they’d get the train in order to get to Brighton in time to sound check (bear in mind they had guitars and a keyboard with them!) but I didn't actually think they would. They certainly weren’t on our train so they must have made it to the earlier one. I got a call from Simon, just about to leave London, saying that national rail enquiries told him that there were delays on trains to Brighton cos of a fire on the line. We were about 30 mins away and we’d not been told anything so we presumed it would be ok. Literally 3 minutes later we were all thrown off the train at Haywards Heath so luckily we made a decision to get a cab rather than wait around for the next train. The taxi queue was quite short but we ended up waiting half an hour for a cab cos all the unfriendly, mean commuters were getting in cabs one at a time. We went up and down the queue and when it was our turn we had 4 of us all going to Brighton which brought the cost down to £6 each and got us all there quicker.

The doors at Brighton Centre opened at 6.30pm and we got there at about 7pm so we thought there’s no way we’d get to the barriers but when we went upstairs they still had everyone held outside while they finished the sound track. Logically, Blur were only 20 mins ahead of us, so them getting the train worked out very well for us. We lingered by the front of the queue, met up with Ruth and Sarah and then all bundled in. Laurel got split up from us and I managed to get a bit of barrier but gave it up cos I only really wanted it to put my coat over. Turned out that the security guards were putting coats etc under the steps of their side of the barrier. Adrian Sherwood was painful and as I realised just how tired I was and that all I had to eat so far was two slices of toast, I really did think I had attempted one Blur gig too many. But as soon as Blur came on I perked up and it was absolutely fantastic. After the slight disappointment of the Coronet being a bit rubbish, Brighton more than made up for it. At one point me and Ruth had a moment with Alex. We caught his eye just as we drew breath to break into “Jim stops and gets out the car…” at the end of “For Tomorrow” and he kept looking at us laughing presumably that we knew all the words and were laughing back at him and probably looking suitably embarrassed. It was really funny and we managed to put him off so he missed a note. He really is a very gorgeous man. And he was drinking tea when they came on stage.

If you’re wondering if Simon made it down in time, which I’m sure you aren’t, halfway through the gig, as is tradition, I heard someone calling my name so turned round and saw Simon beaming at me. He is so funny. He’d literally got to the gig as Blur were coming on stage and decided that as it was the last time we’d see them in ages to come down the front with the rest of us. I just don’t know how he gets through the crowd but it does make me laugh and it makes for a nice community spirit at Blur gigs. I must say how much I’ve enjoyed them playing “Sing” and “She’s So High” recently. They really are fantastic songs which remind me I must listen to “Leisure” more often.

We managed to get a train home, then the N119 (at last!!) and then we were home, sweet home. What an eventful day. We were hoping Blur might have caught the last train back to London but they have more of a party spirit than us and more importantly no day jobs. Bloody exhausted today. Was going to see Suede but luckily I predicted my lack of energy and desperate need of sleep and advised Kathryn I wouldn’t be coming. We’re going tomorrow though and that’s the last Suede gig ever in the world ever… ever. They’re on stage at 7.30pm which is good for two reasons. 1) They should play for a lot longer than normal and 2) the might finish a little earlier than usual so I can go home and sleep and be nice and cosy. It’s the XFM Winter Warmer on Sunday, again at the Astoria, but I just know I won’t be able to drag myself out of West Wickham on a Sunday evening… even if Christian, Chris, Lloyd Grossman, Steve Guttemburg and Brian Blessed (all a.k.a. Chris Smith) will be hosting it and getting everyone to sing Phil Collins’ “Another Day In Paradise” during the band changes. Graham Coxon is on but there are so many bands on the bill he’ll only be on for about 20 mins. I’d rather see the Black Saveloys in their full glory.

I really need to go to sleep quite desperately. I also need some kind of back and shoulder massage…

Bloody Orange people. I am now on Your Plan and when they set it up the woman said the minutes and texts would roll over – she never said anything about the rolling over stopping every time you change the bundles. Bitch. So she put me on 400 minutes and 360 texts a month. The bundle below 360 texts is only 180 which worryingly isn’t enough so I’ll have to stick to that, but I’ve got 642 minutes for this next month cos I only used 158 last month. So I’m cutting that down to 200 minutes but I have to make sure I use all 642 before I change it cos they won’t roll over. Very bloody cunning. No wonder the woman never told me that at the time – they’re not stupid are they. They make you think like they’re saving you money but they are also screwing you over at the same time.

The spreadsheet I have been working on at work is looking quite spectacular now. It has macros and formulas all over it and shows projected hours and earnings as well as projected credit card and bank balances for the next few months. If my calculations are correct then I will have enough money to pay off my credit card in around 6 weeks. But that is irrelevant because it is 0% interest until June so as long as I have enough in June (which I will easily) then I can earn interest on the money while I still have my hands on it. Sometimes you can tell I have a Mathematics degree and work in a bank. Sometimes I am just that little bit too organised.

How come Alice Cooper gets to go to the British Comedy Awards but we don’t. We have more to do with Comedy than he does. Why can’t we present an award? And to make matters worse, we’ve found out who plays us in Johnny Vegas’s new DVD – Gavin & Gavin. Honestly. They might as well have picked flirt lab… at least they have the short hair, long hair thing going on. We’ve never even met the Gavins. We’re beginning to think that maybe we could have done a good job. I wonder if they’ve captured the true spirit of a Comedy Lounge interview… with pregnant pauses at the end of each of Johnny’s answers as they frantically try to think of another carefully constructed question while also trying not to speak over each other, faint (in the case of Adam and Joe) and trying not to laugh like scary nutters at everything that the Johnny says.

Tonight I am helping to run Helena’s comedy night at UCL while she swans off to the British Comedy Awards to be all clever and important. I never wanted to go anyway. I’d much rather see the brilliant and funny Lee Mack being brilliant and funny. And I spose I need to save my energy for tomorrow’s Blur events. And its good practice for when Helena goes away and I am left to give out Pringles and Flumps on her behalf. I’m going to need someone to wave at me, like I wave at H, so I know when Alex has got to the mike… any volunteers?!

My dad posted all my parcels for me yesterday and apparently the woman on the counter said that there was a problem with her scales and that even though all the receipts say Republic of Ireland, they aren’t all Europe prices. Well, I have been on the website and checked out all of the prices and you’ll be pleased to know that yet again I have cause for complaint. The parcel for Newcastle weighed 1.936kg and cost £9.54 which *was* Europe prices – it should have been £4.58 within the UK so guess where I’m off to on Saturday!? That’s right, while I am on a roll of complaining and exercising my consumer rights, I am going to the Post Office to demand back my £4.87. No longer am I going to take shit from people, I am going to stand up for myself. And very good I seem to be at it too… so watch out.

So I have just had a 12 minute heated debate with the woman from L’Oreal who despite saying in her letter that she was keen to assist me as much as she could, was absolutely no use whatsoever. We ended up going round in circles with her telling me that “a tint won’t lighten a tint” which is totally irrelevant cos I was trying to darken my hair. And then… get this…. She said the technicians have looked at my hair and concluded that it’s dark brown. It might look black when all the strands are together but singularly they are dark brown. That’s not the problem. I can’t believe they formulate their dyes not considering what the outcome will be like when all their customer’s hairs are seen together! And this absolutely takes the biscuit… the way their “technicians” analysed my hair was to hold it up to the light!! I pointed out that this is merely a subjective opinion and that I have sought opinions from elsewhere from friends and also a colour technician at Tony & Guy and she was totally stumped. She was the one going round in circles… I have a colour build up (you don’t say…) and the colour I used was one up from black. To which I replied.. “Yes, but not BLACK as my hair is now”. I doubt I’ll get anything other than a refund but that’s not the principal. I am going to wind them up as much as they have annoyed me and caused me grief. As I kept pointing out, it’s a customer service issue and I’m not satisfied with the result of using their product. I asked to speak to her supervisor who “will tell you exactly the same as I am telling you” but she is at lunch so I am waiting for her to call me back. I’ll have to leave it til when I am not in the office cos despite previously holding my own I don’t think I’ll be as argumentative in front of everyone here. I am very proud of myself. Not going to let the corporate giants get the better of me. Going to threaten to take it higher (not sure where but there must be some kind of independent body or a watchdog or something… maybe “Watchdog” the programme. That would be hilarious.

Despite the fact that we were going round in circles I am surprised that she didn’t offer any help or resolution whatsoever. Its not even like I want to get my hair done, I just want some form of compensation for the grief caused and dissatisfaction even if they do think it was my fault *which it wasn’t*. She just clearly didn’t care. I was bloody good though. I think it’s the best at arguing I have ever been but only cos it wasn’t face to face and I think my voice shook a little bit!!! I am livid!!

For the past few days my mum has been driving me mad singing some unidentifiable song in the hope that I would recognise it and as far I was concerned I thought she listened to Fat Jonno in the morning on Heart FM so I shunned her away telling her I don't listen to that kind of rubbish and please could she shut up. (She's not got the best of singing voices and is very persistent).

However, this morning as I was getting ready for work, my phone rang and when I picked it up I heard my mum frantically telling me to put Xfm on quickly..."it's that song, it's that song!" I replied saying that I was of course already listening to Xfm and that the song was by The Red Hot Chilli Peppers. I was both annoyed at my mum for interrupting my morning routine and kind of impressed that a) she likes the Chilli Peppers and b) was listening to the No1 breakfast show in London that I have been trying to get her to switch to for ages. I should have realised cos she likes Radiohead and Coldplay and keeps borrowing my CDs so she can burn copies… might have to start getting her into Blur although I’m not sure that’s such a great idea.

My hair is nice and soft today. I bought some Toni & Guy intensive moisturising conditioner to try and sort it out a bit. I must call L’Oreal back today. They left me a message and sent me a letter saying they are concerned and want to assist but aside from a pay-off there’s not much they can do. I’m not letting them near my hair again. Will do that when I pop out I think, get it over and done with and see what they have to say for themselves. I’ll let you know how that goes.

There are 43 days until my birthday. But I am determined not to get too excited about it this time in order to fend off the inevitable disappointment so I’ll try not to count the days. Sharon is in Ireland and Helena will be in Thailand. And it’s on a Wednesday. It might clash with the Ministry of Comedy so depending on the bill, it should make for a good night if I can get some of my friends to come along.

I am back to being bored again now. Trying to work out the plan of action for Thursday and making sure we get the last train home at 11.37pm. The next one after that is 4am so unless we get into the aftershow party we’ll be slightly buggered but at least there will be a few of us needing to get back to London. I’d ideally like to drive but we have this TV thing in between and we’re not sure what time that will finish and we don’t want to get stuck in traffic and I guess the train will be quicker and easier. My Young Persons Railcard runs out on 18th December which is a pain in the backside. There go my cheap rail tickets and I’ll need to plan even further in advance or drive everywhere. If only I were still a young person. At least I won’t panic every time I forget to take it with me on a train journey as I have a tendency of doing.

It’s the British Comedy Awards on Wednesday which is very exciting but also quite dull given that allegedly all the winners know they’ve won. I’ll be interested to see if my tip-offs are right, I suspect they are. Still no sign of the Comedy Lounge invites… looks like we’re going to have to wait til next year again – maybe they’ll introduce a Best Comedy Website category for us to whip Chortle’s @rse in!

An hour to go til home time. This is the first time in ages I’ve gone straight home after work and I’m going to have to leg it for the early DLR with loads of bags. That should be fun. Will have to give myself a head start and make sure I leave on the stroke of 5pm (or 4.57pm) – don’t really fancy waiting about in this weather. Especially in Lewisham of all places.

I think Friday might have been one consecutive Blur gig too many. Although the Coronet was tiny, it really doesn’t make much difference if you are down the front. It just meant that Damon didn’t have a huge amount of space to run around in. It was a real test of our patience and dedication to Blur having to sit through the drivel of Adrian Sherwood for a fourth time and when I make it five times on Thursday, I won’t be held responsible for my actions. Me and Steve just played games on his phone and saved our high scores under the names “Bored”, “Crap”, and “Still Bored”. It really was painful.

Got totally squashed and was in quite a lot of pain by the end of the night. The stage was quite low and there wasn’t much room for a run up which lead me to believe incorrectly that Damon wouldn’t stage dive. But he did. Twice. The first time was to catch out the security which wasn’t the most safety conscious thing to do. (How old am I!?) The Coronet was a very badly run venue which was bad seeings as it was the opening night on Friday. We had to queue 45 mins for our jackets so just about made the last tube. Took us ages to trickle home via tube, train, bus and then finally Lotus Elan!! (That’s right, look impressed). We got to Brommers and waited about 10 mins for the N119 (which still eludes me) before walking down, getting a burger (at 2am) and then going to Steve’s house so he could drive me home. The Lotus goes very fast indeed which is nice if you’re driving but terrifying if you are exhausted from too many Blur gigs and just want to go to sleep in one piece.

Woke up at 9am on Saturday and then went back to sleep and woke up at 1.15pm with a very fuzzy head and aching limbs. I really am beginning to feel my age. If the gigs had started on Monday and I’d had to go to work the day after the Coronet then I blatantly wouldn’t have made it in o work. Was going to walk to the Post Office to post some Xmas presents until I opened the front door and my mum pointed out that the Post Office shuts at 12.30pm on a Saturday. Oh well, it’s the thought that counts. I went to Sainsbury’s instead to make up for the lack of nutrition from the past week and then spent the rest of Saturday laying on my bed watching Hollyoaks, Coronation Street, Pop Idol and Canned Carrott.

Woke up on Sunday just as tired as the previous day but decided to drag myself out of bed to go and meet David in Bromley for a spot of shopping and to catch up. We wandered round for a few hours and I got some more little things for my family, a couple of jumper/cardigan things for me and upgraded Sharon’s Xmas present cos I found a much better “one” than the “one” I already got. Might even get myself “one” if I remember cos its way cool. Missed the Eastenders omnibus which I am most upset about but it was worth it to see Dave the rave. And now it’s Monday again.

As it was National Blur week for me last week, this weekend was National Justin Timberlake weekend for Helena. I am thinking about putting some kind of parental control over her internet use to stop her scouting for bargains on ebay. As a result she did get some bloody cheap tickets to see the gay dancing boy at Earl’s Court three nights on the trot. I would have gone to one but in hindsight its just as well I didn’t cos it would have taken more energy than I’d have been able to muster up. Still, we have National Blur day on Thursday and then national Suede Weekend immediately after. Then I’m seeing Travis and the Kings of Leon at Ally Pally on Saturday 20th and Damon doing his Democrazy stuff at an isolated nightclub in West London on 22nd which is going to involve me driving Tony over so I can get home. And on a Monday of all days – I just pray Adrian Sherwood isn’t support. Then I am swearing an oath never to go to another gig ever again for as long as I live. Until 29th Jan when I am seeing Aqualung. And relax.

“Then Susan comes into the room, she’s a naughty girl with a lovely smile, says take a drive to Primrose Hill, it’s windy there and the view’s so nice… London ice can freeze your toes, like any one I suppose your… Holding on FOR TOMORROOOOW!!!!”

I am very bored but I only have another 10 minutes to go. I also have some interesting photos from my trip to Newcastle to post up starring Uncle V and Eddie B. And there is one which was obviously taken when me and Helena were away from our bags… you’ll see what I mean…

Another brilliant night and another appearance from Phil Daniels, this time wearing a hat. I'm not sure it topped Wednesday night though. A definite highlight was Blue Jeans and again, Sing.

We were bang in the centre in front of the stage in the second row and it was both exciting and quite scary to see Damon take his run up to dive on top of us but I think he must have mistimed it and gone a bit too far in where the crowd weren't expecting it. After that I am not too sure what
happened cos most of us were pushed to the floor where the security were leaning over us to get to Damon. It was really bloody scary and I just about managed to cling onto someone's leg to get myself back up but some other people were down for longer and couldn't get up cos there was such a surge for Damon. I don't think Damon even noticed cos they started to play Trimm Trabb until Smoggy turned round and told them to stop. Most people would like to die in their sleep but it'd be quite poetic to die during Advert, one of my favourite MLIR tracks. I can just picture the coroner’s inquest now… “Verdict…Death By Blur. It’s what she would’ve wanted…” Its just lucky there are barriers about 8m back in Brixton or I think it'd have been a lot worse. My cheek and the bone above my right eye are a bit bruised from the commotion.

Feeling surprisingly ok today having cheated death. I’m not sure I can bothered to queue for long tonight cos even two hours last night was too long and far too freezing. I’ll wander on down after work and see who’s about and then have a wander round. Although Elephant & Castle isn’t the most interesting or safe area to be wandering around. It’s going to be an interesting one, I wonder if Damon will stage dive into such a small crowd tonight. I am really looking forward to it but just think.. this time tommorow I will still be lying in my nice warm bed with no work for 2 days and no Blur gig for 5 days. It’s going to be odd going to see Suede… I do really like them but there’s no way they’ll even come close to Blur. Brett’s just not as good a front man as Damon, he’s got good cheekbones but he lacks the huge presence and sense of humour Damon has.

“Don’t give up on me yet… Don’t think I’m walking out of this… Sheeeee don’t mind… Whatever I say, whatever I say… I don’t really want to change a thing… I wanna stay this was foreveeer…”

I have got purple socks on and trousers which are slightly too short. Oops. I’m trying not to get up and walk about too much although everyone sitting behind me can see them clearly. At least I don’t have to wear my suit tomorrow. I am going to have half my wardrobe at work by the end of Blur Week. I’ve been bringing stuff in to change into and leaving my suit and everything else at work and then bringing more clothes in each day. I’ll have to bring a suitcase in with me on Monday to take it all home. I cannot wait til Monday. I can go home straight after work, watch telly, reacquaint myself with my parents and just lay down. It’s going to be just lovely.

I am bored at the moment. Not all that tired though, just bored. Hour and a half until I can get on my way to see the Blur. My throat hurts a little bit but I think that’s from shouting “I’m here because I’ve got no f*cking choice” at Phil Daniels at the top of my voice and also from screaming along to everything else. It really was the best Blur gig ever.

Last night was just brilliant. Tuesday was fantastic but last night was one of the best Blur gigs I have been to, and as we all know I’ve been to quite a few. I started off in the second row behind a really lovely girl I know through going to see Blur a lot and by the time they played Girls and Boys, the weight of the rest of Brixton Academy pushing against me meant I ended up in the front row against the barrier… which is where I hope to get tonight. They came on and Damon said that the previous night was great but that last night was going to be even better – and he wasn’t wrong. Damon was laughing a lot especially when he lost his place in out of time and when Phil Daniels was doing the most bizarre freestyle hand gestures and dancing i think i've ever seen. Alex looked very sexy it has to be said, in a black suit and white shirt and again I didn’t see a single fag-on. Good to see they picked up on my comments about letting Dave sing Graham’s
parts in “Tender” as opposed to the male backing singer who was frankly getting too big for his boots... that was fantastic. It was also an experience to be dived on by Damon during “Popscene”, and it was nice of his security man, Smoggy, to warn us to keep our heads down... (as if we all didn't know it was coming). It was quite strange when the PA blew just before the end of “Trimm Trabb”, leaving Dave drumming away... and they all left the stage looking slightly
bemused and we hoped the sound guys could sort things out in time for the encore. It’ll be interesting to see how they plan to top it tonight. I am leaving work at 4pm tonight and at 3pm tomorrow and I am so glad I got a ticket for Brighton next Thursday – two Blur gigs in one day, that’s not bad going!! And blur gigs have become even more enjoyable now we've all got to know each other a bit more... it was funny to glance to my left at one point only to be greeted with Simon’s grinning face... possibly the only male on the front row looking slightly embarassed given that he is the same age as the band, and it was fun being crushed next to Laura and being able to share in our joy of perhaps wrongly rubbing Damon’s chest when he parked himself in front of us. It really was great and I was smiling right the way through, even when I was in agony being winded by the force of the crowd with my hips pressed up against solid metal. What a brilliant night. It is quite painful where I was wearing an under-wired bra and it was being pushed into me from the force of the barrier but it’s part of the pleasure-pain thing. I was having one of the best nights of my life so that is weighed up by having two small strips of metal jabbed into my chest. It’s all swings and roundabouts.

Oops. I have accidentally bought a ticket to see Blur next Thursday in Brighton. I’m not quite sure how that happened… its straight after the TV thing at the Coronet that a couple of Blur chums have got me a ticket for and we are going to follow Blur down when it’s done and see the penultimate gig of the tour, well they are and now I am too. We are hoping to hijack the tour bus but that might not be an option and then we are going to get the last train home at 11.37 or spend the night on the beach. I have both work and a suede gig the next day. I am a nonce. I’ve seen Blur in Brighton once before back in about 1999/2000 and we got right down the front. Damon put his foot on the barrier in front of us so we more or less had a face-full of Damon, so to speak, and Mary-Anne decided it would be both big and clever to undo his shoelace. So when he took his foot away we were left holding onto his shoe… luckily he found it funny and gave us a cheeky grin. Ah, memories…

Wow. What a night. Second row in front of the mighty Alex. Two hours of Blur. I am exhausted but my spirits are higher for getting through the first night despite my aching bones. I was nowhere near as squashed as at the Astoria but still squashed enough to be able to join Richard Herring’s squashed squash squash squash club. And it wasn’t as hot as last time either. I love it when Damon takes a massive run and stage dives into the crowd. It must give him such a rush, I’d love a go at that. There was no “Gene By Gene”, “Crazy Beat” or “Popscene” but we were rewarded with “Sing”, “Colours” and my favourite, “Advert”. I should think they’ll chop and change it all around over the next few nights and we reckon Mr. Daniels will show his face at the Coronet gig too. I am hoping for “There’s No Other Way” but I don’t think they’ll play that and even if they did I would imagine Simon Tong, despite vastly improving, would butcher it.

I managed to get one of the last three parking spaces this morning, having left my house at 7.30am, but that’s still cutting it a bit fine so I’ll aim for 7.20am tomorrow which may we be impossible given I need to dry my hair… might just stick it in plaits and look like a 12 year old all day so I can spend an extra five minutes in bed. Got the train before the one I normally get so was in before anyone else in my team and justifiably rewarded myself with a bacon baguette to make up for my lack of dinner last night. I actually think it’s getting up stupidly early in the mornings that is killing me rather than the gigs themselves (and the postman woke me up this morning which was lucky cos I would have just laid there otherwise). The bags under my eyes are developing quite nicely. Touch wood I am avoiding being ill so far but we are only a quarter of the way through National Blur Week. Last night Damon said they have to enjoy playing their songs while they can as they won’t be touring again. I am sure they will, I have visions of Damon soldiering on well into his 60s as the only remaining member of the band, insisting that he is Blur with probably the rest of the verve replacing Dave and Alex, all butchering the classic Blur songs.
It will be a very sad day when they stop touring and I will be distraught having only seen them 11 times this year and about 35/40 times in total… that’s just not enough. But my back and my ageing bones will be very pleased indeed and maybe then I can devote all my time to obsessing over some other band…It might not be considered normal to see Blur, or indeed any band, quite so many times in one lifetime but you only live once and you might as well have as much fun as you can. And if fun means Blur, which it does, then there is no alternative. I am sure when I am in my fifties, deaf and crippled I will have slightly different views, but at this stage of my life I don’t care. I am just starting to regret drinking quite so much so often at university but given my time again, I am sure I would do things exactly the same.

“I need a holiday, somewhere in the suuuuun, with all the people who are waiting… there never seems to beeeee one… say something, say something else….” I like a good song where you get to put your hands in the air and count to 16 on your fingers.

I’ve been to Boots and stocked up on Berocca, which I am assured is totally natural and doesn’t contain caffeine, and having tasted it, I am pretty sure its just glorified multi-vitamins. At least it won’t make my heart go mental, which is obviously a good thing. I also have Lucozade energy tablets, Lemsip, a lipsalve and eye drops. All in the name of National Blur Week. I am on the verge of falling asleep now. Boy, am I looking forward to sleeping tonight… I think I can say for definite now that I’m not going to Karmageddon on Saturday. Or doing anything over this weekend at all.

You’ll be glad to know that yet again last night we were surrounded by tw@ts who wouldn’t stop talking for the duration of the gig. I just don’t understand these people. Surely it would be easier and cheaper to go to a pub to have a conversation where you can hear each other speaking rather than pissing me and Helena off beyond belief… at least tonight there is no danger of anyone near us talking, they’ll all be too busy being crushed. Although I am not really intending to go right down the front tonight… I’d like to hold back and use it as a dry run but I can imagine the excitement will get the better of me. I need to take my mind off tonight… I’ve got nothing to do...

Turin Brakes came onstage at 9.30pm last night and didn’t leave until 11.15pm which, when coupled with the fact that Connex have seen fit to move forward my last train, made me miss the last train to West Wickham. So I have found a new way of getting home from Victoria to Bromley and then on the N119. Except given how tired I was and that my feet were burning and it was only gig number one of a five night gigathon, I decided against the bus in favour of a cab. This morning was a nightmare. Managed to get out of bed and leave the house at 7.35am and got to Beckenham Junction in time to nab the last parking space. Then I waited for 15 mins in the freezing cold for a bus to take me to Clock House station which didn’t show up so I got the bus to Elmers End where I managed to miss the train. Finally got to work at 9.15am which wasn’t bad but I am going to make sure I leave by at least 7.30am tomorrow. I will be glad of it tonight when everyone is rushing for the tube and I can get the overground train for 20 mins and be greeted by my lovely car to take me home. Then the cycle can repeat itself. I am actually beginning to get really excited about tonight, and about time too. I was listening to ‘Crazy Beat’ on the tube last night and smiled to myself remembering us all jumping up and down and singing along… wonder if Paul the Putner will be there tonight… sure we will spot him at some point this week. I’m trying not to wear my glasses either so my eyes don’t adjust and so I don’t have to wear them tonight where they would inevitably get broken or lost. I really do think of everything.

So for the next week these posts are going to consist mainly of Blur and my steady descent to total exhaustion. Much like back in May which was five gigs but at least they gave us a day off after the first three gigs. Very considerate. And hopefully I am going to see Blur briefly next Thursday afternoon, again at the Coronet, for a TV thing – The Brits Are Coming 2004. Some preview including Blur, Athlete and various others. It starts at about 3pm cos Blur have to go and play Bournemouth in the evening, so that’s going to be a fun day for them. And for me hopefully. Then if it finishes in time, I’ll be off to Have I Got News For You.. just in time to tire myself out for Suede the following two nights. I really do seem determined to knacker myself out in time for Xmas. But that’s fine cos I’m not going anywhere and I have a whole four, yes FOUR, days off work. OOOOoooh. Imagine that.

For some reason Yahoo mail seem to have decided overnight to start having pop-up windows advertising things you don’t want on your screen every time you log in only there’s a delay of a few minutes so it happens when you are least expecting it. The Xmas issue is going well, we are hoping for a very special competition devised by someone renowned for devising questions and clues on a certain radio show. But don’t get too excited just in case, cos he is very busy and it may all fall through.